Using my alt account to its full potential.
So, I (30F) haven't had sex in a long time. Since leaving my ex in early 2021, I did have some casual sex sporadically, but the last time was somewhere around late 2023/early 2024. I wasn't planning on such a long drought, but a few months after that last time a weird lump showed up in my leg and well… it was cancer. Nothing to do with the sex, but you can imagine I wasn't exactly in the position to bone.
I sexted with someone for a while when I was first diagnosed and early into chemo, which was just a good distraction really but has fizzled out by now. He lives in another country, so it was never meant to go anywhere. I don't really want that again, I want real touch.
I'm officially 6 months post chemo and in remission, but still in immunotherapy. I've been "back on the market" for about 2-3 months (on the apps, which has been mostly unproductive so far). But the stakes are different now because even though I'm a lot more "normal" than I was during chemo, I'm immunocompromised, which means I have to be more diligent than average about my partners and what I allow. My body has also been through a lot, and while I don't look like the stereotypical cancer patient because I'm not frail or bald, those changes still weigh on me. And naturally I've also changed a lot as a person with very clear expectations about what I want and need.
So what I'm here to ask is, how do you build up confidence to really get back into things, even in a more casual capacity? I feel so detached from sex as a whole, like I was more "patient" than "woman" for so long that I don't feel like I belong in the "people who have sex" category. Which is odd, because I was kind of known for being the TMI sex nerd among my friends. So while I want love more than I want just sex, I think there could be a benefit to finding a reliable hookup too to just… feel like I get to do that again, you know?
I would especially appreciate experiences from people who've had serious health issues like mine (cancer or otherwise).