My wife (36F) and I (38M) have been together for several years. For part of our relationship, we explored strap-on sex occasionally — maybe once a month or so. It was something that felt intimate and built a lot of trust between us, and we both seemed to enjoy it.
A few months ago, she told me that strap-on sex made her feel “unnatural” and that she didn’t want to do it anymore. I told her I completely understood and didn’t want her to do anything that made her uncomfortable. The conversation was short, and we just moved on.
Recently, I’ve been wondering if it’s okay to bring it up again — not to pressure her, but just to talk about it more openly. I’d like to understand what changed for her, and whether she might be open to discussing it again sometime.
I completely respect her boundaries, but I also don’t want to ignore something that was meaningful to me without ever talking about it again.
So, to the community:
• Is it reasonable to revisit a topic like this in a long-term relationship?
• If so, how can I approach it in a way that’s caring and respectful, without making her feel pressured or guilty?