There’s honestly so much to say, but I’ll try to keep it short. My bf and I have been together for a year and we have a trip planned (we leave in two days). I’ve been trying to shake this feeling that we’re misaligned but I can’t. He’s a genuinely good person and I know that we love each other, but it’s not enough. I don’t know if I’m avoidant or what (actually I know that I’m avoidant but I don’t think it’s completely that), but I don’t like how he doesn’t take care of himself and I feel like I love him the way that I would want to be loved and I know he appreciates it, but I don’t know if I feel like I’m loved the way I want to be loved. Now I feel like an asshole because I have full intent to go on our trip and I know we’ll have a great time, but I also feel like I need to leave him. I feel like he’s grown in our relationship and I haven’t. Arguably, I feel like I got worse. Not necessarily because of him directly but I don’t feel intellectually stimulated among other love language things. I don’t think you need to hate your partner to break up but I’m also scared that I’m staying with him because it’s good and stable, not that I’m genuinely fulfilled, or that I’d be leaving someone good because I can’t find satisfaction. Anyone have advice for this sort of limbo feeling?
tl;dr I’m happy generally but don’t feel my needs are met/I’m not being loved how I want to be loved