I’m 26, she’s 22. She was just diagnosed with bipolar 2 and goes through a lot of depressive months and some hypomanic episodes. She acts completely batshit insane during the hypomania. She’s going to get on mood stabilizers in a couple days from her psychiatrist. And yes she is in therapy and treatment for BPD.
During the depression, she literally does nothing. Just sits around in her pajamas all day. I know she’s depressed, but she can still push through it to do what needs to be done. I come home from working all day and the house is disorganized and it’s driving me nuts.
She also says she has orthostatic intolerance basically where she stands up and her heart rate is jumping more than 30bpm. Says she feels fatigued and nauseous all the time. Electrolytes and salt don’t help a ton apparently. She sees a cardiologist later this month.
Then she says she has hypermobility problems and arthritis-like joint pain. She’s trying to get on Medicaid to see a rheumatologist. I believe this one, because in the morning she gets up and I literally hear her jaw cracking open when she tries to open her mouth from TMJ.
All this aside, we also have a 2 year old. Her problems all started appearing after she had her, minus some depression, anxiety, mild joint pain, and the orthostatic stuff. But she says it’s much worse now. She also has ADHD, which I’m sorry but that’s an excuse, and says she is likely on the spectrum like everyone else in the western world.
She has a very hard time watching our toddler and has emotional meltdowns a lot. She wanted to put our toddler in a Mother’s Day out program but I’m not ok with that, so now I have to drive our toddler 5 days a week to my grandmother’s house who lives 35 min away.
I want more kids and now my wife is trying to get sterilized. She says she has “post natal ptsd” (she’s amazing at all of these bullshit buzzwords) and cannot ever have another child again. She has a nexplanon implant in her arm but can’t be on hormonal birth control long because she has some genetic mutation that makes her cancer risk higher.
I’m really annoyed. She has every problem in the world and hate to say it but she’s not earning her keep. All she does is get our toddler dressed/fed in the morning and at night, watch the toddler for maybe 2-4 hours before I take her, cook my food and their food, do dishes, occasionally sweep/vacuum, make the bed, fold laundry. That’s it. Basic chores everyone has to do.
We’re starting marriage counseling again, but I don’t think it will make a difference. I don’t really believe in divorce, but don’t know what else to do.