Hey fellas, I’m 31M. My life’s been weird.
I accomplished my dream career, owned a home, had pretty much a wife, two dogs, two vehicles, a nice retirement growing because I was going to get a pension. All this by 25.
By 28, I had lost the career, the girl, the dogs, the house, the car.
31 now and completely broke. And yet I’m at more peace than I ever was at 25. I remember waking up and dreading going to work.
I’ve been arrested. I’ve gone to rehab. I’ve been in mental hospitals. I’ve done things and had things happen that I thought would never happen to me.
I was always good with money but now I’m drowning in debt. My car is in the tow yard. Currently looking for a job.
And yet, I feel more mentally strong and at peace than ever before. I know I can rectify this situation within a year.
My plan is to just grind it out, get my car out the yard, file for bankruptcy and then move on with my life.
All this would have ended me in my 20’s, I’d be filled with anxiety and depression and yet now I don’t feel anything. Just a strong resolve to keep going.
Anybody have similar stories? Thanks
17 comments
I’m on my 3rd life.
I think many of us had life knock us down and found ways through it to varying degrees.
My theory on rock bottoms is that it’s our subconscious’ way of forcing us to shed our identity/beliefs about ourselves so you can rebuild a new identity that fits the life and perspective you need.
Can skip rock bottom with some detachment and humility I suppose. Stubbornness and holding on too long just makes it worse. Flow.
I have lost it all multiple times just in my twenties. Currently trying to dig myself out of my third hole. No 401k left, no job atm, cant get back into my career because I fucked up
I love your grind. I myself am trying to bounce my way out of an extreme low spot. I am in dept for a degree that I have not completed. I went through a phase where I have gambled a laughable amount of my life-saving. I have no job and I’m at a age where I feel really left behind. My career stalled, and I still have 1 year university to finish if I ever go back. I have some issues with my health. I don’t know whether it is physical or mental but I cannot wake up before noon. I have been smoking cannabis regularly to help with my loneliness and anxiety. I can’t call upon a single friend if I’m being honest. And it feels my relationship status will be always be single. Ìm looking forward to tommorrow though so there is that.
Right now cannabis is my medicine but eventually I want to leave it behind me.
Very similar story. You only lose when you give up.
While not nearly as drastic as your story I also lost my dream career after working towards it for 10 years. The only thing I had to show for all my work was 6 figure tax debt because I figured I had lots of time to sort that out when the walls came crumbling down. While I managed to keep the girl, the house, and the dogs it was still pretty devastating.
So I gave up but instead of blowing my life up I grabbed the only job I knew no one would bug me so I could just figure shit out. I went trucking, and my days were filled with audiobooks and introspection. The kind of introspection that highlights what’s important to you in life. It absolutely was the break I needed.
2 years of that really cleared my head and allowed me to focus. Unfortunately it doesn’t pay worth fuck and while I was making ends meet I wasn’t moving forward. I also still have a mountain of debt to deal with so I picked up a higher paid job in the industry I was in before. Which happens to be alot more chill when you are not trying to be the best and achieve that next goal. I am fine being a mediocre employee, no one’s patting my back anymore and I’m alot happier for it.
I have plans and goals again, small and large projects on the go and I’m moving forward with my life again one step at a time. Change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad…
Been there, was homeless and currently own a home in a major city 10 years later.
Dont know how to sum it up. Was homeless for a year when I was 19, I was depressed right away. But after a month, I stole another book from Barnes and noble, got two things from the dollar menu at Burger King, and sat in my tent and it suddenly hit me. I’m actually okay. Yea I’m not living my best life, but I know I wont be like this forever. I had a book, food, shelter, and some peace and quiet and I may as well enjoy my time on this floating rock.
My mindset was that I trust myself to be capable to get myself out of it, and that was the end of any doubt. If i doubted myself, then what kind of life would that be. Instead of feeling depressed, I feel hopeful and that still carries with me til this day.
I’m almost 40 and rebuilt my life twice!
If tomorrow im walking out empty handed, i would just accept my fate. I will take a break, keep my head down and do it again.
Once you have gotten over the first major crisis in life and your mind is at peace, it means you are mentally strong and matured. Nothing can break you now.
Homeless and bankrupt and in non-dischargeable debt collections/student loans/whatever.
I think this nation will implode before I get back on my feet.
However, I think that means in a couple years, things will be reset/changed/worsened, and I’ll prolly do better, then.
I suggest heading over to r/awakened and reading what others have to say
I’m 60. I was pretty successful in my early years and had the custom house and nice cars. Then divorce and bad decisions left me broke. I managed to pull myself up to a pretty simple life – very simple apartment, reliable used car, and a big Orange tomcat.
I’m so much happier now. Easy job, no stress or debt, and I can be ready to bug out in 30 minutes and leave it all behind because it’s just cheap furniture with no sentimental value (important/sentimental items are in a secure place). I understand that a lot of people equate shiny things with happiness, but I’ve found the less I have the happier I am. I guess it comes down to your idea of what recovery is.
I hear you man, I hear you.
When I hit rock bottom with a shot tonne of debt I signed up with My Budget here in Australia. Best thing I ever did. They took care of the stress and the bills, they managed my money fir a few years. yes, it was tight for a few years, but 12 years later I have a home and my life is well and truly back in control.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help with services like that if it’s an option.
The good news is:
When you are at the bottom, there is only one way you can go from there.
I was a homeless crackhead in my early 20s. I was fortunate to get my shit together and make it back. It’s hard to change yourself but it can be done.
I’m in a similar boat. Federal employee furloughed and swimming in debt and only have myself and god to get me through this situation
Well, I was married, house, kids, cars. Then got in a car accident that required learning to walk again with no guarantee of recovery and my ex wife told me to leave because I was essentially useless.
Learned how to walk again about 6 months later, I’m now 34, this all happened when I was 27/28.
My stress levels became nothing once she was no longer in my life, year after she kicked me out, I ended up with primary custody of the kids because they didn’t fit into her new lifestyle.
You can think you’re living the perfect life because society told you to do it. And it can end up sucking the life out of you with the wrong person. I’ve learned I’d rather die alone happy, than be miserable with someone because it’s “what I’m supposed to do”.
I’ve had to start over twice due to drugs and jails. I’m 15yrs sober this past July. I own 2 houses on 47 acres with a beautiful wife and 2 new vehicles. It doesn’t get better over night but when you start looking back at everything you’ve done, it’ll make you want more.