The title is pretty straight forward but I'll share a little back story:
My GF (39f) and I (39m) have been together for three years now and living together full time for two years. When we first got together we were both individually going to therapists once a month and both medicated for our various disorders. We mostly have the same issues so we bonded over healing from those a good bit. After a year with my therapist I wasn't happy with her sessions as I didn't feel I was making any progress and her appointment schedule profoundly interfered with my work schedule. I continued medicating and my GF continued with her therapist regularly until last last year.
Earlier this year the company I worked for underwent a major restructure after the sudden exit of a VP. The remaining board essentially got rid of anyone they thought of as "one of exiting VP's guys" and I was caught in that category. A job and status i had worked towards for 20 years was gone in a five minute Thursday afternoon conversation. I was paid a severance, my medical benefits extended for a while longer but other than that I was on my own.
Over the two years we had been together my GF bought the building her business was in, and we had began converting her house into an extension of her business. So I dedicated my time to doing the banking for her business and property maintenance at the 4 properties owned between us. Generating savings on paying outside contractors isn't the same as having an $80k+ income so I've started doing personal training on the side to supplement some of the lost income and am still gaining traction there.
I've dealt with ADHD, major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder, imposter syndrome, body dysmorphia and CPTSD most of my life and GF has a very similar laundry list. I'll admit the loss of a career, even though it was in a field I hated and spending 14-16 hours a day around people I couldnt stand, the money and security were nice and the loss of that has put me in a pretty down stat for most of this year. Its also stressed GF to the point of weight gain and occasional panic attacks.
She gave me an ultimatum recently, I have until the end of the year to get back into therapy and get my head on straight or we're done. So I've devoted some time this week to trying g to find an online therapy option that fits within my budgetary constraints, and I think I've settled on a non-profit offering that has a once monthly option rather than once weekly.
Here's the rub: I haven't told GF I've found a viable option yet as its literally been 3 days since the ultimatum. Just now she was looking over her schedule and mentioned she had a client conflict with her therapy session and chose not to cancel or reschedule the client because "I just dont think there's any way she can help me right now". This honestly made me a little irritated and I want to bring it up, I just dont know how to broach the subject without it coming off as adversarial and the last thing I want to do is fight with the woman I love over this. Has anyone been through something similar? Any advice at all is much appreciated