Hi everyone,
I’m a 31-year-old man from Bangladesh, married for almost three years now, and I really need some honest advice. I’ve reached a point where I don’t know if this marriage can or even should continue.
My wife, 30, has been living in Japan with her family since 2012 on her father’s dependent visa. We got married in October 2022 through an arranged marriage, but before saying yes, I spoke with her and we agreed that wherever we live, we’d build our future together, whether that meant she’d stay in Bangladesh or I’d move to Japan eventually. I was open to both.
But what actually happened is a completely different story.
After our wedding, she told me she needed to go back to Japan “just for six months” to sort out her papers and prepare everything for our future. I trusted her. Six months turned into a year.
She came back briefly in October 2023 for about 20 days, then left again with the same promise.
In October 2024, she came back once more, saying this time it was permanent. My whole family was happy and hopeful. We celebrated our second anniversary and my birthday together it finally felt like we were starting a real married life.
But that didn’t last. By January 2025, she started talking about going back to Japan again, saying she just needed “one final attempt” to fix things. I supported her and gave her four months, but she left on February 19th and, unsurprisingly, never came back.
Now it’s been nearly three years of marriage, and we’ve lived together for a total of maybe four or five months.
That’s the entire “married life” I’ve experienced.
The painful truth is, there’s no emotional connection between us anymore.
On our last night together before she left this year, I cried quietly beside her. She didn’t comfort me, didn’t touch me, didn’t even say a word. It felt like she was already gone like she couldn’t wait to return to her real home, her family’s house in Japan. That moment told me everything I needed to know about where her heart truly is.
I’ve tried speaking with her family, but they treat this as normal as if a husband and wife living apart for years is acceptable. Her father avoids real conversations, and her brother (who married around the same time) has already built a normal married life with his wife within months. I can’t help but feel that they want her to stay in Japan to care for their parents, and I’m just stuck in the middle of that plan.
Right now, I feel emotionally detached and empty.
I don’t hate her I just don’t feel anything anymore.
I’m honestly afraid that even if she returns, I won’t be able to rebuild any emotional bond. Too much time, distance, and disappointment have killed whatever connection once existed.
So here’s my question to all of you who’ve maybe been through something similar:
What do I do now?
Is there any point in trying to fix a marriage where trust and emotional connection are gone, and the other person has built her life elsewhere?
Or do I finally accept that this relationship is over in every real sense even if not legally yet?
Any honest perspective or advice would mean a lot.
Thank you for reading.