My husband (28m) and I (27f) have been married for a year and a half. We are both Christians but our marriage is not reflecting that much at all right now. I am so burdened by the weight of his demands and expectations of me. I desperately need help.
Here’s what’s happened so far this week:
He called me while I was on my way to work and asked if I brought a lunch with me. I said yes, I brought oatmeal and peanut butter. He asked me why I didn’t bring leftovers from dinner a couple nights ago. I said I prefer the oatmeal and sometimes leftovers sound bad to me. He went on and on about how i need to learn to eat leftovers so we can save money. I said I’m going to bring what sounds best to me..oatmeal is cheap. He had an issue with that and continued to lecture me about it. Why????
This isn’t the first time he’s been upset about what I eat. If I’m anxious and don’t eat he lectures me and tries to force me to eat. If im not hungry and it’s dinner time he says I need to eat anyway because it’s dinner time.
Yesterday he called me while I was at work. He randomly will have a few days off work and said he wanted me to go on a trip to visit family with him…we would be leaving that night. I said I can’t do that because I have commitments at work. We have a big bulk shipment that I’m in charge of that goes out early next week. He got upset and told me I need to ask to get some days off because family is more important. I said I’m not doing that to my work- it’s not respectful or right. He was very upset about this. I asked if we could call our counselor and he said no he didn’t want to bother them. I wish we would’ve.
He said I should quit my job because it’s not flexible enough…but I just need to give them at least one week notice. I think that’s pretty flexible.
Last night he said we could just fly home for the weekend and he would have me back by Monday. I said it’s too last minute for me and i said he could just go by himself and see family for a few days, but he said it’s bad for us to be apart. He said I should quit my job and find something more flexible. So I started to sign up for Walmart delivery and said I can quit if he wants even though I like my job. I hate this.
I’m not understanding. Why does he care what I eat at lunch? Why can’t he just go see his family for a couple days? Why does he get angry if I’m not willing to drop everything at work to take a trip with him? It feels like too much.