I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, married 6. I’ve realized that over the years I’ve fallen out of love with him, mainly because of the way that he has interacted with me – he’s emotionally volatile so he’ll have strong negative reactions to the tiniest thing that I say and it’s alarming and caused me to withdraw from him. He can also say things that feel belittling and dismissive. We have a toddler and he was so wrapped up with a job that he hated (that made him stressed and when he’s stressed he has even less patience with me and is more volatile) that he wasn’t present/helpful as a parent. Eventually I told him that I don’t know if I can continue this way so he’s made a huge effort to change and has improved a lot!
However he can’t change who he is entirely, so I still feel very emotionally disconnected and invalidated when I come to him with certain topics. I’m not in love with him and don’t know how to overcome these feelings. I appreciate so much how much he’s improved but it just feels like the damage has been done. Is it possible in this situation to fall back in love? I think of spending the rest of my life with him and am honestly super bummed out about it. But the chaos of a divorce is stressful as well. I’ve asked my therapist and she doesn’t have any tips for how to fall back in love (she won’t tell me what to do but I think her perspective is that I should end it). Any thoughts or tips on falling back in love?