(31M.) Been a while since I've posted, but I've noticed a pattern in my dating history of the past 2 years or so. Typically I'll be dating a woman, or even be in a committed relationship for around 3-4 months, and then something always seems to cause it to end.
The most recent situation I was I, I was seeing a woman for about 3 months. Everything seemed to be going perfectly. Then she went on a company trip to Las Vegas, and she just seemed a little distant after she got back. At one point, I spent $100 on flowers and a stuffed macaw from a local flower shop and had them delivered to her at work with a customized note. She told me she didn't have time to date and needed to focus on her kids/work, etc and wanted to remain friends. I tried to respect that, and said I was willing to wait until her life settled down a bit. (She was running 3 stores instead of just hers, and her 16 year old son started acting out.)
I don't have children of my own, and I understand that kids always come first. However, multiple times in past dating situations it always seems like it boils down to their kids. Sometimes it almost seems like they're just trying to use it as an excuse. Am I too nice, too much of a pushover?
I was raised most of my life by a single mother, and by my grandmother. I have always tried to treat the women I've dated, both the way I want to be treated by a partner, and by the way I was taught to treat a woman.
All my life, my #1 goal in life has been to get married and start a family. I grew up without a father, and I've always dreamed of being the husband and father that was never there during my childhood. My therapist and multiple friends have seen, or read my interactions with the women I date and everyone always says things like "Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong. The right woman is out there and will appreciate all of the effort you put forward and will reciprocate that energy."
It just seems like I always give my relationships 100% effort, and it is never quite reciprocated and I genuinely just do not understand why. Up until around 2 years ago, I had only ever had 1 relationship/dating situation end where it was not my choice. Now it seems like after 3-6 months of having fun, and feeling like I'm building a genuinely connection with someone, they leave me high and dry.
I have a solid career (expert in my field, less than 1,000 people in the world with the same qualifications as me,) have a nice truck, own a 3 bedroom house, have hobbies, plenty of friends, etc. It just seems like whenever anyone I date has the slightest inconvenience in their own personal life, bam, that's it…. I have my own struggles too just like anyone else, but I'm not going to just give up on a good thing because I feel like I can still focus on the person I'm seeing, while also dealing with my own personal affairs. It seems like nobody else is capable of balancing both these days.