Never been in a relationship of any sort and never been intimate. To be honest, I don’t feel that upset about likely never having children, but the idea of never having a significant other does bother me. But then I just have these reoccurring thoughts that if I ever do find someone, they would likely leave me or it wouldn’t last/I’d just be a placeholder before they moved on to someone else. I started a dating profile (as I’ve done in the past) and immediately deleted it, just not seeing the point.
I genuinely find it hard to trust men, which I find a bit strange since I have a good relationship with my dad. I just haven’t had the best interactions with men at large. The few very limited times when men have showed faint interest, I was thrilled but sadly it never actually worked out. Unfortunately I am not attracted to women sexually, so that is sadly not an option.
Is there a way to sort of just push past this feeling of inadequacy? How do you deal with the feeling of pending betrayal? Or of feeling unwanted and suspicious that people will leave you? I know therapy is the go-to ‘solution’ but I unfortunately have not had luck and my insurance is not the best.