Hi All,
Wanted to get your input on this. Open to all kinds of suggestions. I am sure there are things that I can do better.
Wife (31F) and I (31M) have been married for 4 years now and have a 2 year old toddler. Both of us work. Wife works a full-time 9-5 and I run my own business. I try to be home by 6 at the latest but sometimes it can be a bit later as the business is in its initial stages and we are experiencing growth. Currently, 10 hour days at minimum.
Based on recent arguments, she is not happy with the amount of effort I am giving into the household. I think she's only taking into account what's important to her (child duties and cooking) and wants as close to 50/50 in those departments and ignore other stuff that I contribute to the household.
For context, these are "general" contributions to the household. I have not broken down categories because I believe everything is somewhat nececesary to "run" the household (things can be prioritized ofcourse)
Wife:
– Work (Mon – Fri 8hrs/day)
– Financial Contribution (40%)
– Child Duties (pick him up from daycare, prepares dinner for him most nights, puts him to bed most nights, takes him on play dates etc.) she definitely spends more time with him that I do
– Cooking (cooks approximately 2-3 times per week)
Myself:
– Work (Mon – Sat approx 10 hrs/day)
– Financial Contribution (60%)
– Child Duties (get him ready in morning, do breakfast and drop him off at daycare, do bath time every night and do bed time a couple times a week)
– Cooking (1-2 times per week)
– All household maintenance (weekly yard work, regulay snow shoveling etc.)
– Manage finances (budgets, investments etc)
– All misc chores (house maintenance, car maintenance, new tires, insurance, mortgage etc.)
Other:
– Dishes (we both alternate. If she cooks, I do the dishes and vice versa)
– Cleaning (we have a cleaning lady that comes in biweekly. Between that we take turns)
Another note: she works because she wants to not because she has to. But I fully support her for that.
Do you think I am not doing enough to contribute in an equitable way? I realize I could be biased but am not sure anymore. Any tips or comments would be helpful.
TIA