Me(35M) and my partner(35M) have been together dor just over 8 years. About 3 years ago he was diagnosed with BPD after his 2nd or 3rd suicide attempt. He has been on anti depressants since we met and it goes well for a while and then not so I was happy when he was finally diagnosed thinking that he will now be on the right medication. To say the last 3 years have been tough is an understatement. He did do a bit of therapy in the beginning but never did the proper CBT or DBT therapy and his medication doses kept changing as he felt either depressed after a while or the physchiatrist. The therapy he just felt is unnecessary and therefore never went for it regularly. He has a problem where he struggles to stop drinking when he does have alcohol. His Drs has warned him on numerous occasions that he is not allowed to drink but in his words' i dont care a f what they say'. So this ofcourse meant that he also tried to overdose on 2 or 3 occasions while intoxicated. Just to mention he was in a detox and mental clinic twice for 2/3 weeks at a time.
Over the past year there has been times that he stopped drinking and things would go well and then he would fall of the band wagon again and start drinking to such an extent that i dont know how he gets home being so drunk and driving. We have had fights about this on more times than i can remember. 6 weeks ago when he did it again he told him this is the final time and that we are done if he does it again. So he stopped yet again. Also to add, he has done AA but gets bored with it and then stops going. As I am typing this he has gone on a bender again. So is it time to call it quits? Has anyone else that was in a relationship with someone that has BPD been through this?
Just a to note why i dont want him t drink
1. He is a different person completely and would make irrational choices like deciding to walk home and fall asleep in the bush or give his car keys to a random stranger who then almost steals it. Or get into a random car with very dodgy people who then steal his cellphone. This is just some things that has happened. There are many more
2. He drinks and drives putting other peoples lives at risk
3. He is depressed the following day
4. He has high blood pressure, pre diabetic and high cholestrol and has 3 heart stents inserted. Also overweight. To note, he is only 35
Any advise would be appreciated