Hi everyone, throw away to keep privacy. I (26F) have been with my husband (27M) for 6 years, married for 5. I’m looking for advice on what to do next after a series of things that have really broken my trust.

Here’s what’s happened over time:

  1. He made a Tinder profile and was messaging other girls.
  2. He flirted with another girl even after I asked him to stop.
  3. When we lived in our own apartment, he was messaging his mother saying he hated living with me and wanted to leave as soon as possible. At the same time, he was telling me how happy he was with me. He also wanted to put all the bills in my name and take the car without warning.
  4. While I was in the same room playing VR, he was sending explicit pictures and videos back and forth with another woman.
  5. I told him multiple times that I was uncomfortable with him looking at explicit Twitter accounts or videos, but he kept doing it behind my back.
  6. After I told him this was his last chance, he still went and posted explicit texts online asking women to interact with him.

Now, he says he’s serious about changing. He’s in therapy again, but he’s done this before — he went for two sessions and gave up. I still love him deeply, but I don’t know if this is something that can actually be forgiven or moved past.

my question: How do I know when it’s really time to walk away versus when it’s worth trying to rebuild? Can therapy and effort actually fix something after this many betrayals, or am I just setting myself up to get hurt again?


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