I recently pushed away my gf of 2.5 years and broke up because I felt that I was the only thing that was stopping her from being happy … Just so you know we loved each other very much and still did at the time of breakup but both had a feeling that we weren't going to last as the way we were and that feeling was way more intense for me as I always felt guilty for keeping her in control. After this breakup thing I just told her to forget about me and left without saying anything or listening to her .. she tired to connect with me for 1 2 weeks the she also gave up .
After 2 weeks she had lost her mind completely we both connected like 2 or 3 times, to talk about things now I know her how she is and how she handles hard things (she can't) so she lost her mind and she did all the things which she never did and tried even uncomfortable things like she never went out at night with friends but she went for movies and Navratri etc which she never did before . She wasn't in her mind … She didn't tell me any detail about another incident but from what she told me I could understand that , there was this one mutual friend(m) of her college friend (f) they went somewhere and he was apparently driving her back home in his car ( she never went out alone with any guy before) now he was driving and they stopped for ice cream apparently and after that he asked her " I really want to kiss you rn " My gf or ex was slient and nothing happened he didn't force her or anything.
Now that was the context, now the thing is I fully understand that we weren't in a relationship so what ever happened wasn't cheating.. the thing that hurts me soo much us that she was in a situation like that just within 2 3 weeks of breakup usually this wouldn't matter but this matters now because after this incident she came to me and told me that if she is gonna end up with someone that's gonna be me and she still loves me to be completely honest I never unloved her I just pushed her away because I loved her too much and wanted everything good for her. Now she came back and told me all this I accepted that there is no mistake of her in that incident with that mutual friend but the situation itself was bad nothing they could do.
After all this we came to an agreement that we will try to fix ourselves and try again for a relationship when we think we are better than pre breakup. ( Point to note she was guilty that thing like that happened and she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me because she did that. She wants to completely go back to how she was before so that she can be in a relationship with me again.)
I have mixed feelings about this arrangement I feel like I'm doing something wrong, and should be going back to her but at the same time I know that if I got back with her again there would be no point in breaking up with her in the first place. Someday we can be together is what is driving me to be better but the way she changed is giving me anxiety what if she does something bad again ? What is the things she told me was only half of what happened? What if this what is that I have a million things going on right now on my mind.
This is my first time writing something in reddit. Maybe I missed many important points in this note. Please I need suggestions on my actions did I do the right thing? Or any changes to what I did? If any other things are wanted from my side that would help in better suggestions please ask away. Thankyou.