My Fiancé (21F) and I (21M) have been together 3 years and coming up on being engaged for a year. We are both very much in love with each other. That being said, we found out she is pregnant about a week ago. We were very excited to find this out as we wanted to have a kid! As the days go along though, I’m finding myself having this feeling of overwhelming, immense guilt that I hurt her. Even though I’ve been open about this feeling with her and she has put that thought on trial countless times since then.
To elaborate some more, this past summer has been super crazy for us as well. I had attempted unaliving myself in June and have been through treatments and such since then. I’m happy I have though, as I was diagnosed for my Autism and ADHD(inattentive type) with severe anxiety. This has been super beneficial because it explains a lot to me as well as to my Fiancé. It’s also caused some ruffled feathers every once in a while due to us learning how we can communicate properly without shutting down. We used to struggle with that a lot but it’s been going amazing for the past 2 months.
Last night she came home and I had some buddies over. This was planned and communicated. She came and said hi and we were all good and no issues. Flash forward to this afternoon, and as soon as she sets her eyes on me after getting home. she was livid with me. Telling me that I’m irresponsible. Later on after we talked and cooled down. She expressed to me that her feelings of anger were really just coming from her concerns about my ability’s to pay attention to details to make sure that baby will be safe as I had left some items outside that could have been knocked over and broken very easily creating sharp hazards. She reassured that I am going to be a good dad and everything but I guess it just made the guilt feeling even worse because I feel as though I forced this upon her. Even though we talked about it and she has said time and time again that she doesn’t feel any negative way towards me. Again, I struggle with severe anxiety and inattentive ADHD so it’s easy for me to zone out or get super locked in on something. I can 100% see where her concern is coming from…