Hi everyone,
I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (26M) for 11 months. We live together, close with families, and we really do love each other. Overall, things have been good — until this weekend.
I found out that he’s been lying to me about using cocaine. I’ve asked him multiple times in the past because I knew some of his friends did it, and every single time he said things like “I’d never do that,” “I’d tell you if I did,” or “I’m not interested in that stuff.”
This Saturday, I noticed he was acting off — the way people do when they’re on coke — and when I confronted him, he finally admitted that he had taken some. He said it was because he felt “too drunk” before going out and wanted to sober up a bit. He also said that was the last time and he doesn’t want to do it again.
I just feel completely blindsided and hurt that he lied to my face so many times. I don’t know if I can trust him now. I also don’t know if this means he’s addicted or if it’s something he only does occasionally.
Is this something people can actually stop if they say they will? Is this a red flag I shouldn’t ignore? Should I forgive him and try to move forward, or is this a sign that I should leave before things get worse?
I really don’t know what to do.
TL;DR: Been with my boyfriend for 11 months, love each other and live together. Just found out he’s been lying about using coke even though he always denied it. He says it was the last time, but I don’t know if I can trust him or if I should forgive him. What should I do?