We’ve been together for 10 years. I recently found out he had been texting his female employee for about a year. It never got physical, but he was asking her to go to the gym, go shopping, and even invited her on a one-night business trip (she declined).
When I confronted him, he was deeply remorseful and said it wasn’t about me or my attractiveness.. just an issue within himself. I left for a few weeks, and he was crying constantly, depressed, and asked me to come back. I did return because I love him and honestly feel like I can’t imagine my life without him.
But now I feel lost. Part of me believes he regrets it and we can rebuild. Another part of me feels like if he truly loved and respected me, he wouldn’t have crossed that line in the first place.
Desired outcome: I want to know whether staying and trying to rebuild trust is realistic or if leaving is the healthier choice for me in the long run.
Question: What should I do to move forward from this? How do I decide if this is something our relationship can recover from or if I’m just scared to let go?
EDIT/MORE CONTEXT:
Since coming back, I’ve been feeling really depressed. I’ve been sleeping in, waking up late, not really taking care of myself or the house (I haven’t had the motivation or energy). I told him how I was feeling and he said he would support me, but when he gets angry, he throws it back in my face. He’s called me “useless” and a “bum” because of how I’ve been since I came back.
There was also a point where I tried to leave again, and he told me I would regret it because he’s worked so hard over the years to provide for me. He said I’d struggle and suffer without him and that no one else would put up with me because I never really focused on building a career while we’ve been together (not necessarily true as financially I’ll still be fine).
I’m sharing this because it’s made me even more confused about everything. I don’t know if this is just his anger talking or if it’s how he truly sees me.
TL;DR: My partner texted his female employee for a year and asked her to hang out and travel with him (she declined). He says it wasn’t about me, is deeply remorseful, and I went back because I love him. Now I’m questioning if I should try to rebuild or leave. What should I do?