*****EDIT: I also want to say that in August, right before I was booked to get my wisdom teeth taken out (which I was scared and crying about), starting a new semester, and had signed up to take a CNA course, he told me that I had 1 month to let him know that wether or not I would move to where his family is in 5 years. I had to let him know within a month if I would move to where he is from in 5 years.
A few weeks ago my (ex) bf 26M screamed at me 28F in the car because I told him a story about how a man at the gas station complimented my tattoos and asked if I was married. I said “no, that’s kind of you but I am taken.” He said “well let him know he has a good one and tell him to rub your feet!”
I find this story silly, (the man probably tells many women this) and I wasn’t even attracted to him. I’m also not the jealous type myself, my ex could tell me that someone complimented his eyes at the bar and I would think it’s endearing.
He screamed at me in the car and said “DO YOU KNOW HOW POSSESSIVE I AM?!” Bloody murder. Ran red lights and started driving recklessly.
I packed my bag as soon as we got back. I said I was no longer comfortable being at his house. He basically said “don’t you see how all of this is on YOU?!” I said “nope, you’re delusional and I will leave you in your delusion.” He then later asked me many times to just stay and talk. I stayed and talked. He said that he was feeling extremely insecure, stressed, and things at work were not great. The night ended with me consoling HIM on the couch.
Fast forward to a few days later we are having a conversion on the phone. He essentially says that my tone is off and he doesn’t like the way I say things. He starts screaming at me again and tells me to “stop flapping my fucking gums.” I hang up. He texts me the next day and says he is “really sorry and knows I don’t deserve that.” I tell him I want space from him, as I am in school and have exams I HAVE to study for. He says he respects that I need space, however he shows up to my apartment and knocks on my window and asks for a tool I have here. (He has never done this before, he is learning to be a mechanic and has a garage full of tools).
Fast forward about 4 days. He calls me and I basically let him know that I don’t know how to proceed. He has been violent and aggressive in the past. He tells me that he will “make it easy for me” and tells me he’s ready for it to be done. I say that’s fine. He backtracks and says “well, what do you think??” I believe he does this to trigger my anxious side. I said “if you want to be done, you should be done.” We hang up.
We have a shared playlist on Spotify. When we go through periods of not speaking he usually adds songs to the playlist. He added 2 songs that were very “poor me” and heartbreak-y. I assume we will do what we always do, talk it out. His best friend’s wedding was today and we had plans to go for months. I hadn’t heard from him in over a week and I just had a feeling. I made a fake hinge account and found him on hinge. I called him and just simply asked about it, considering I was at home wondering if I should touch base about the wedding. He was defensive at first and said that I was giving him the silent treatment. I was not. He just told me that he was done and was ready to be so I left it at that.
The hinge isn’t my biggest problem, however it is insane how a week before he could tell me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and the next he’s on hinge and makes jabs at me in his profile. It was that I asked him to delete the playlist we shared because it is a link to communicate with me. He refused. I had to basically plead to get him to make it private. He told me that he was not over me but was over the situation. He also blocked me on Spotify which I am happy about, however before he did he let me know he saved every playlist that I had ever made since we met. (I make season playlists and these playlists are not about him). I found this odd and asked why he did this and his response was “why the fuck do you think I did that?” Liiiikeeee I don’t know why so you think I’m fucking asking?
I should also say that he asked to be my friend! He has done that so many times! He basically says he is unsure of me and doesn’t see a clear future but we can be friends.
Can anyone help me make sense of this. I feel like it’s a big mindfuck and I have been thrown for days.