I (40f) and my spouse (47m) have been together roughly 15 years. We own a home, have a wonderful 8 year old. He is a solid, devoted father and has a great relationship with our child. In general, he is a serious, reliable and committed person – just not warm and fuzzy, romantic, or affectionate (though he used to be, very much so.)
Over the years my appearance has changed drastically (I'm significantly overweight, and used to be a size 8/10) also my mental health has caused issues related to spending impulsively beyond our means and having major mood swings – not easy for him or anyone to deal with at all.
All of this to say, we do not have a romantic connection any longer, and I want to make it clear the blame does not lie with him, rather in both partners changing and evolving in ways that make them significantly less compatible over time, with my issues playing a central/leading role.
I know my husband has no interest in ending things, I've broached the subject and am met with massive anger (nothing violent just profound, deep emotions). I can't reconcile his day to day way of being in our marriage with this deep seated commitment to remaining in it.
I'm at a loss. I don't seem to bring him any real happiness – in fact we bicker quite a bit and have no one-on-one time. I don't understand how to move forward.