I (26F) and my fiancé (26M) have been together 3 years now, we have a 15 month old son. My fiancé grew up in an abusive household (won’t admit to it being abuse) but he’s told my his dad used to be physical, and his mom was more phycological abuse(messed up punishments) he won’t go to therapy for any of this which he needs to and doesn’t agree with medication either, the medication part is fair if that’s what he chooses, but he needs to go to therapy.
He does this thing where he’s very passive aggressive and sarcastic with me and kinda shrugs important things I say off.
For instance he helps tons with our son, is not a lazy dad, and works long hours, our son now sleeps through the night but lately he’s been getting up because of bad teething, doesn’t bother me, because my fiancé gets up everyday at 4am but for instance, last night our son woke up an hour after bedtime and stayed up for 3 hours and my fiancé said he was really tired and said he’s really sorry so he slept, no biggie. He got a 12 hour sleep, I got an 8 hour sleep so still good BUT I’ve been having health issues so I’m exhausted, and said “well I got an 8 hour sleep but it’s all interrupted.” And he’s like “lots of complaining….mhm, life is hard love you.” And walks out of the room.
For about a year or more I’ve been having health issues and doctors can’t find out what’s wrong, I agree I complain a lot….basically everyday. But he’ll say things like “your imaginary health issues, doctors have done tests there’s nothing wrong it’s all in your head” or if I said “what are we doing this weekend?” He’ll say things like “not sure haven’t thought that far ahead, it’s only Wednesday.” Or “why are we planning for this? It’s a month away.” Or if I ask alot of questions he’ll say “whatever gets me through this conversation with as least as many questions.” I’ll point something out on the street, just making conversation that’s apparently obvious to him and he’ll say “yup sometimes dogs are brown.” It drives crazy. It’s rude. It makes me angry. It hurts my feelings. It makes me feel stupid, it makes me feel like he’s undermining me. I definitely think he was not raised right, he wasent raised to have manners, and treat people with respect or have deep conversations and actually listen to people.
He’s VERY laid back, I used to love it, now it drives me crazy because he doesn’t care about anything…..what do I do….I love him so much and I don’t wanna have a broken home and my son not have his dad, but sometimes I’m at loss and don’t know what else to do because I can’t put up with this for the rest of my life.