I'm in London and have really hated group chats. I still have to attend them at work. Monthly lunches with colleagues are scheduled into my diary. Other spontaneous lunches proposed by my boss are hard to reject, as she would ask me every single time if I didn't attend. The problem is I have very little to say on those occasions. I don't know if it's British culture or not (I wasn't born here), but I feel there is a certain dynamics to group chats in UK and wearing 'social masks' is almost mandatory, whether in pubs or restaurants or even online social meetup. I would feel like an outcast if I try to bring up anything remotely meaningful and heartfelt in those group occasions. There are usually lots of meaningless chit chat, and it's obvious that people don't care about each other and are just there to talk.
There are lots of times I'd sit there and feel this great chasm between me and the group I'm with. For example, recently I've really enjoyed reading a book called 'The teachings of Don Juan' by Carlos Castaneda – For me it's one of the most interesting books I've read so far, yet I know I won't feel comfortable bringing this up with anyone in group chats, due to the unspoken rules about what we can and can't talk about. I'd sit there and see everyone taking about meaningless trivial details about their life, while secretly hoping I can disappear into the magic world of Don Juan, morph into a crow and fly away from this boring, lifeless nonsense.
The Brits are very relaxed in those social occasions and have no problem coming up with jokes every now and then. Unfortunately I'm the strange type who won't feel relaxed at all, if I can't even be authentic and say what I truly want to say – which is usually something earnest and meaningful and doesn't fit nicely into a group chat which is somehow 'mandated' to be lighthearted and uncontroversial.
To be honest, I'm doing well at work but have really been tortured by the group chats I have to endure at work. In my private life, I only go for one-on-ones with my friends.