help me out..i am in utmost confusion .see the thing is a guy in my college liked me from the very frst year but i was not sure about him though i liked him so i said no when he asked me out then since we were in same group hanging out together i started feeling for him and that time idk why he did not do anything maybe because i rejected him or idk but he took zero initiative and obviously i cant tell him listen ive started feeling for you so do something so things kind of went off but ive always wanted him to do something so that this could lead to something but nothing happened . now one of our mutual frnd as i mentioned in the "group" started liking me too . we were really good frnds but i could have never thought like never ever that he could like me because we never had that vibe it was always very comfy and friendly vibe but when he confessed i was shocked legit.i said i could never think of u in that way so thats not possible but since we were so comfortable to each other he said comfort is must in a relationship everything else could be developed . i didnt agree but then he said we could give it a shot i was not at all in agreement of this because i knew this could completely ruin what we have right now . u must be thinking what abt the other boy so apparently he told me before asking me out he asked that boy kindof took permission from him and he said okayy (when he told me this i was literally crying inside) beacuse how could you say yes to yr frnd to ask yr crush just because u feel u do not have a chance now .what about me ?? like can anyone ask what i want .so this completely broke me down .then after talking for a while when he asked me again what do u think now lets give it a try so there was mixed emotions because i don't wanted to ruin what we have now and also i was broken that how could he let this go so easily i said okay but i am not sure if this would go right he said no problem . then cut to after spending 1-2 months together i realized that i could never think of him as my partner i genuinely love him but just as a friend so i cleared everything to him, he completely understood but still we are not that good friends now as we were before. now i am just in this fucked up state of mind where i feel i am so bad maybe i am but is that too much too ask from someone . its just that i feel choices matter a lot , the whole scenario would have been different if i would have just said yes to him in the first place . (also now i cant help but think of him the first boy, idk if its just obsession or really something but why god why!!!!)(now he doesn't even look at me okay i understand he has moved on or whatever but then why do you have to call me that tooo at 12o'clock).