My fiance 26M and I, 27F have been together 5 years.
Is my relationship over?
Background: We have been together for 5 years. I have a 8 year old son, and we have a 10 month old daughter. We have been through a lot. But in the last 3 years it’s been the most difficult and hardest. Right before I was pregnant with our daughter. Our relationship was completely broken and shattered. Financially, emotionally and physically. When I was pregnant we had to move out of our apartment because we couldn’t afford 2200 of rent anymore. He lost his job and my caregiving job was only paying $400 a week. It was god awful. Well we moved to his hometown, a tiny rural town, hours away from any other places with only 3,000 people here. We’ve gotten better, but it seems like our connection together is just not there anymore.
He is a big gamer and always has been. PC especially. He plays games every. Single. Night. Sometimes I don’t mind, sometimes it really bothers me. Because he promises and swears to me we will. Then 12am rolls around and it’s just like ?? Seriously? He’s done this I mean I can’t even count how many times. It’s gotten to the point where I can not trust anything he says. Not just about games, about anything to do with me, or even the kids. He NEVER spends quality time with our kids. Hardly ever does he do something with them. Or he wants to take me out and go to a restaurant, promises me we will go and have fun and spend time together, then completely forgets and hops on the game. Tells me he’ll clean the dishes because I’m sick, then completely forgets and plays on the game. Or says he’ll help me with the house. Or tells me he’s going to take care of something and 98% of the time it’s never done. He always tells me we’re going to do something and just doesn’t live up to his word. It’s very isolating and makes me feel lonely, sad and honestly left out. I feel like a third wheel in my relationship. I get angry about it and I cry a lot. And yes I have said how many times I would like for it to change. We’ve had many talks, and arguments over this past year. One time it lead to him gutting out his ‘game room’ and putting everything away, I never said to get rid of the computer, I just didn’t want him to spend until 7am on it!!
Then if he’s not on the game then he’s on his phone or watching tv completely spaced out and doesn’t engage with anyone in the house. Or in the bathroom for an hour. I’m always reminding him to help, or to talk to me, or to spend time, or let’s do something fun.
Today, he said he wanted to have a drink (we do not drink alcohol only on holidays) and I said oh fun!! I want to have one too! We can hang out. He said yes! 😁 then he hops on the game and plays with the whole best friend group together. He knew he was going to play but never said anything or why he wanted to drink and have fun. And technically “I” wasn’t in those plans because he just hopped on and said nothing else.