hey everyone,
when i was younger/a kid, i used to have 2 sides. i could either be shy and doing my own thing, or i could be very talkative and social. at school i was more the latter, but with family i was the former.
unfortunately, the last few years have been bad when it comes to personal stuff. i don’t speak to 99% of my family anymore, i didn’t make new friends for years and was mostly just going to school and then sitting at home in almost complete isolation. around that period i also struggled a lot with mental health and fell into a form of depression which made me isolate myself even more and not have the energy to get out of it.
when i started my course at a new school, i also didn’t make any friends there at first. i was lonely, cynical, and miserable. i only spoke to one friend regularly, but that was it. i’m grateful that that changed though, because a few months later we went on an exhibition with our class. we had to share rooms and choose who we wanted to room with. i was lucky to be chosen by two people i had done group projects with — they didn’t mind including me (best thing to happen for me).
since then i started to open up more, get to know the others in my class, and actually befriend them. it was the first time in years i had made new friends (irl too).
between those isolated years, i did meet some twitch streamers and people through their communities. we played games and hung out online. those memories are still really special to me because i genuinely enjoyed talking to them and having fun again. unfortunately i don’t really talk to any of them anymore, but it happens.
it’s been a rocky road, but i slowly started talking more with my new friends and group mates (we get new groups every few months). i realized that talking with friends or playing games with them helps my mood so much. i forgot how much i actually enjoyed being social, just having fun and chatting with people (even though i thought i was more of a solitude person). it really lifted my mood and made me feel more alive and happy, instead of drained and bored.
now i’m talking more and more with people in my life, and i want to be even more social again. it’s something that genuinely energizes me and makes me feel better. i want to be how i used to be and stop isolating myself. my social skills have definitely gotten rusty since i was isolated for so long, and i really want to work on them again.
sorry if this post is kind of bordering on a post for a mental health subreddit, but i wanted to share my story and mark the beginning of a hopefully positive chapter. also, i’d love to hear any advice or tips that helped you become more social again or just get back into talking with people!
thanks for reading!