My wife and I have been together for nearly 20+ years, and for the last few years she has grown into her sexuality substantially to how our relationship was originally. She was always engaging and all that good stuff but last year or so, she told me she wanted to try a toy. I bought her one of those remote control vibrators that sits inside, and she loved it. Long story short, she mentioned that it wasn't as good as it has been and wanted to upgrade. I got her a wand and a d**do. She's scared of the d**do just based on the fact she never has (and its obviously bigger than my p**is) used one but she does really like the wand when we are together.
Just now, I jokingly asked her if she has ever used it on her own, and she said no. I laughed and told her that was kind of the point of getting them, so she could if she wanted to. I had an epiphany and I asked her "… have you ever masturbated, at all? in your life?" and she said no. I knew my wife has grown up a little conservative but with a edge to her and that it was sometimes cute/funny but it never occurred to me that a woman in her mid-late 30s hasn't once tried or successfully pleasured themselves to the point of they know what they do/don't like. She does seem genuinely curious on love-life beyond romantic dinners and sex in bed so I'm actually believing she was telling the truth.
I know hormones and other factors can play a large part into a womans libido and sex drive, but I'm getting the impression that my assumption that women had some internal drive to pleasure themselves, similar in some sort of way as men, is straight up incorrect. Is that right? My wife does have some unique hormonal circumstances but I'm trying to focus on if my perception was wrong. I don't want to throw around the word "normal" but should I be surprised my wife has never in her life masturbated?