Finally posting on a throwaway finally because I really need help. For context, I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for 2 years formally but sexually for almost 4 years now (we started as a ~situation~ lol!) Our relationship started out purely sexual, but as we got to know eachother more and more we fell totally head over heels.

I am extremely attracted to him. He is physically fit, sexy, and very very sweet. We workout together 4x a week and I catch myself staring like a creep in the gym sometimes. He operates at a low grade of constant attraction to me too, and showers me with subtle dirty compliments and constantly gives me non-sexual affection as well. He’s seen me through some of the best times and some of the worst times including grief and mental health struggles, and he’s still just as affectionate as when we started dating. Our relationship is perfect and I expect to marry this man fully.

Recently we made a huge move across country and moved in together and our relationship has blossomed— the only problem is, for whatever reason, I am exponentially less horny.

The sex has always been amazing, I’m always able to finish and we try new stuff, but it’s like recently I just have zero sex drive. I used to get horny even thinking about seeing him, but now often times when he comes onto me my subconscious reaction is either that i’m too tired or i just don’t want to. He’s never pushy and is always sweet and respectful and it doesn’t seem to bother him, but it bothers me because I WANT to want that more. I’m on birth control, but it’s the same implant i’ve had throughout our whole relationship so that wouldn’t explain the sudden change either.

I’ve tried everything, like reading spicy books to taking those libido pills, but it’s like i’m just unable to get horny in general anymore. Has anyone had this happen? Is this normal when you move in together? It’s so frustrating and really starting to affect my self esteem.


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