So this girl and I have been friend for a long time (7 years now) not close just classmate friends. Yesterday she was in the same town as I was so we went out for some drinks, after that she crashed at my place and slept in the same bed. She cuddled me a lot like really a lot we didn’t have sex or kiss but a lot of cuddling from her end like holding me sleeping close to me and all. Today I am feeling really bad cuz she has a boyfriend and her behaviour is not good I am thinking of telling her boyfriend cuz he deserves to know that his girlfriend isn’t good and end the friendship as well. Am I thinking too much? I am not attracted to her that’s why she is my friend. Let me know what you all think
PS: After reading the comments I got to know some people wouldn't consider cuddling a cheating and that's an eye opener of what people are comfortable with. For me I cannot digest it and have decided to tell her boyfriend and to block her completely from my life as I am not attracted to her and keeping her as a friend is both a bad influence and a cheating to my future relationships.
Update: I told her BF that we cuddled he was crazy mad but thanked me for telling him. She obviously is mad at me. Had to do it my conscious wasn’t letting me sleep over it
29 comments
Slept with usually means you had sex.
Gotta rephrase that but its good that you clarified what happened.
Honestly you can just communicate with your friend to set boundaries and why you think it’s wrong in the first place.
If she accepts then all is good. If she refuses to understand then you may have to end the friendship.
Her bf will know sooner or later if she’s loyal.
I know women who has a bf but still wants to make out or get touchy with other dudes behind the bf’s back.
Both genders are guilty of cheating. It’s just whether you want to be a good person or not.
dude stay in your lane dont’t cause drama in her life — you did NOT sleep with her… you slept next to her… she cuddled with you because you made her feel safe…
People just need connection… stop making this all about you. stop making an innocent cuddle more than it is…
Unless she put her tit in your mouth … this is a nothing burger….
Maybe she was COLD…. your job as a man is to keep a woman safe, warm, and secure…. neither of you are married to someone else — so this is not really a big deal.
When my friends and I would go camping — it wasn’t unusual for us to snuggle to keep warm and the girls always felt safer…
SPOONING IS NOT CHEATING.
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I’d go ahead and leave her for the streets, you don’t wanna get involved in that. Unless you know her boyfriend personally and know he’s a good person, I wouldn’t tell him that she cheated.
Cuddling can be completely platonic (and yes, you can get physically turned on during platonic cuddling because that’s what bodies do sometimes, but it’s not like either of you acted on that and took it any further.)
you also have no notion of what her arrangements with her boyfriend are. They could be in an open relationship for all you know.
This is between her and her boyfriend, unless you know him personally and as more than an acquaintance .
It might be worthwhile, if it will ease your conscience, by supporting your friend in being honorable, to talk to her about it . Find out what she thought of the whole thing, how she thinks he would feel about it if he knew,, and depending on what she says. you can encourage her to come clean. But after that point, it’s all on her.
this is about her relationship between her and her boyfriend. You are not responsible for what she does.
Don’t tell her boyfriend just let it go. She was the one initiating and was there alcohol involved? If you dont have feelings dont tell the boyfriend
Look at the girls girls now in the comments lol y’all don’t like it when bros are bros
This is pretty hard. Well technically you didn’t have sex but cuddling with a man in a bed you two alone is very very suspicious and disrespectful when you have a partner. And i am glad you think that is not appropiate, becauae it isn’t.
It’s up to you if you wanna tell her bf about what happened but be prepared for anything. Next time try to not put yourself in this situation if you can.
For me sleeping in the same bed is acceptable but cuddling is where I draw the line
Ain’t nobody touching what’s mine
Telling her bf is kind of a loser move because instead of confronting her, you’re just throwing her under the bus. It’s not your relationship, and telling her boyfriend won’t fix anything, it’ll just create drama. If you feel bad, talk to her or cut her off, but don’t drag someone else into it to ease your guilt.
I think you are Totally right brother. That’s great step which took let’s save eachother from those kind of people who have normalised this type of disgusting things. And they are not even ashamed to defend it I hope those who are defending they don’t face this same situation.
I am not saying ki sirf ladki ke liye aaisa hai koi ladka bhi hai to you leave that person as soon as possible and try to protect other person from those kind of men or women
You’re in no position to say anything to her boyfriend. Like you said, she only cuddled you and didn’t initiate anything else. It was probably a friendly cuddle from her point of view, and you’re about to destroy her relationship because you think that’s cheating. You could’ve just told her you weren’t comfortable with it and listened to what she had to say. But reporting her and blocking her? Come on man, that’s childish.
I would personally like to know that if I were to be in a serious relationship with someone
the numbers of comments that says this isn’t cheating tells a LOT about today’s society.
Clearly this is cheating and you are absolutely right about cutting her off and/or telling her bf. If it happened to you, you definitely would have wanted to know. Props my G
One of your last posts literally says ‘got ghosted from a side chick’ while playing the saint here. And now instead of telling her you feel uncomfortable you want to tell her boyfriend afterwards. I’m kind of disgusted. I hope you’re a troll.
Edit: okay. Definitely trolling according to your posts in this sub.
You were in school you say?
This dude is going to regret this year’s down the line if he tells old mate and burns her.
Tell the boyfriend, its up to him of that’s a deal breaker or not.
Guys gotta look out for guys too.
>I am not attracted to her that’s why she is my friend.
Uh.
lol in what world is having a female friend cheating on a future partner? You’ve got some major hang ups about sex dude. And she didn’t sleep with you, that’s actually having sex. She slept in the same bed as you.
This is my take on it, so don’t take this too seriously. If you disagree with me, thats alright, this is just what I would do in your place!
So personally, I would say it was cheating, but since we’re talking about you, its more important whether or not YOU feel like this crosses the boundaries of friendship, because then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
If you aren’t fully sure, you just have to ask yourself a series of questions. If you were in the boyfriend’s place, would you want to know, and if you had a girlfriend would you feel like you’ve done wrong by her.
If your answer to both those questions are a resounding yes, then I know this is awkward, but the best way to deal with this is to have an adult conversation with your friend (from what I’m reading, you guys are just friendly acquaintances who occasionally go out for drinks). It could go something like this:
“Hey, about the other day, I know you have a boyfriend.. and what we did feels really wrong, I think he deserves to know.”
You can expand from there, if this was my friend we were talking about, I’d mention that it would definitely be better if he heard it from her, and give a heads up that if she didn’t do it then I would. I don’t know a way to do this that wouldn’t put both me and the other person in a vaguely uncomfortable position, but to be honest this entire situation is uncomfortable, and what happens next would just be the consequences of our actions. If it was me I’d force myself to face it honestly and the way I’d want it to be handled if I was put in the boyfriend’s place.
Also, I’m glad you’re taking accountability and worrying about this, most people wouldn’t. That says a lot about your character.
You’re ignoring a key factor here. She was under the influence of alcohol. If she has never been that close with you physically before, then it’s only because she was drinking as to why she was all soft and cuddly with you. At the end of the day, you allowed her to sleep in your bed. Just set firmer boundaries. You must not value her friendship & what kind of friend are you for wanting to ruin her relationship. Smh people have no loyalty these days
You didn’t do anything wrong. You both consented, and his reaction afterwards is his own issue to manage, not your fault.
Good on you, man, props for thinking about the other dude and how that might affect you if the roles were reversed. I mean, if he got upset, it’s pretty clear she either didn’t tell him or wasn’t planning to…
I don’t think any self-respecting man would be okay with his partner being in bed with another man it doesn’t matter whether something happened or not. The same goes the other way around… no woman would be fine with her boyfriend sleeping next to one of his female colleagues. You can only keep it real if you are real.
May good karma follow you for that one 🙂
If what she did was wrong, so did you. I mean you could have gotten up and slept somewhere else instead of letting her cuddle with you the whole night. She was drunk and she can use that line as an excuse. What’s yours?
She can even play a victim card saying you took advantage of her when she got drunk. Both of you are wrong here, don’t just blame her.
Cuddling is cheating.
Why let her in your bed or place if she has a man?
yea but at least there’s DatingSquare to find someone better