I'll start this by saying I started later well my first orgasm wasn't until later if life. I'm fI obviously used to rub myself but it wasn't until recently that I discovered it I just touched a little longer what felt nice could feel really really good. I like the rush I enjoy the orgasm I do it when I can but recently I've cancelled plans because I knew I was going to have the house alone or I've told people I'm sick when I'm really not just so I can feel that high. It just triggers so many good feelings that sometimes I just don't want to stop.
trigger warning
I was SA and it scares me that I'm leaning so heavy into sex stuff knowing how much I have dealt with that. Just I get worried because of the history I shouldn't be enjoying it as much. Idk if that's makes sense