My (32F) husband (35M) admitted that he thinks he has feelings for his younger female coworker (early 20s). He started a new job about 6 months ago and is confused about his feelings. Apparently this girl is in a long distance relationship and seems to like to chat with him. She is aware that he is married and in his words he said that when he told her that he had kids she seemed surprised in a disappointed way (or he could be reading things wrong). She also asked about me but normal questions. They have a similar upbringing and apparently many older men in the office seems to find her attractive and talk about her. He can’t tell if she is just super friendly and just likes attention or if she may like him too. For background, I am almost 37 weeks pregnant with our third child, and he feels bad that he came clean about this but also doesn’t know if it’s just a crush that will go away (this is also the first time he’s worked with more “attractive” females in a company – previously he’s only really around men) and wants to squash whatever he’s feeling for the sake of our family (we have two young toddlers as well). He works from home mostly and only sees this person when he is in the office once a week, and everything has been kept professional. I know it’s normal to have attraction to others and that it may be more of an issue if someone takes action on that.
I also lost my job earlier in the year due to federal related layoffs so it’s not an ideal situation (he’s the main provider now) in addition to the fact that he’s dealing with other stress in his life including feeling like his heart is not in this relationship at least right now because we don’t agree or connect on a lot of bigger picture items (financial, spiritual, parenting, etc.). We’ve been married for 5 years (together 10 years). I am extremely hurt and frustrated, and while I know we aren’t ideal partners I feel like I want to work to have this “happy” family. He tells me it’s not a big deal and he only wants to focus on his job. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his job and wants us to focus on the new baby and our kids and not overthink this. I’m trying not to stay fixated on this as likely nothing can come out of it but it’s hard with all my emotions right now.
Do I just try and stop overthinking things since I can’t control anything and try to weather this season we are going through? What would you do in this case?