My (40F) husband (40M) and I have been married for 10 years. Throughout our relationship I have communicated that I don’t like him asking my friends and family for favors without checking in with me first. This has been a reoccurring request because he doesn’t understand the boundary. He threw me a surprise birthday party when we started dating and I told him afterward I was uncomfortable with him reaching out to my friends and asking them to come into the city without my knowledge. (I am uncomfortable asking people for favors and I do it carefully.) I thought we had settled that but it keeps happening.
A few years later he sent out a political fundraising email to all my friends asking them to support a candidate. Again I asked him please check in with me first. You get the picture.
Today my husband presented me with my birthday present: a framed letter from my boss (a very busy guy with an important job) praising my work on a recent work project. He went behind my back and asked my boss – who he doesn’t know – for a letter I could hang on my wall??? I am so angry. I feel like this violated my repeatedly expressed discomfort, but even worse because he interfered in a professional relationship, and for a trifling and vain request? I am so humiliated.
He thinks I am overreacting? Am I?