We all need to question ourselves when a relationship ends, or a date didn’t call us back- is it them that we feel sad about losing or their potential?
I made this mistake myself lots of times. When I didn’t get a text back, or when a relationship ended I would get really down.
When I reflect though out of all the relationships I’ve ever had only two of my exes did I miss as people.
The rest was their potential.
What I mean by that is with all the others I projected they were the one who I would finally settle down with start a family and have this happily ever after.
It was nothing about missing them, it was about missing this potential future with them I projected in my head.
So sometimes if you are really down about dating or a break up- think about if it’s the person or the potential you miss.
If it’s the potential then you know it sucks, but it also wasn’t reality. You didn’t lose anything real- you just lost what you hoped it would be.
If it’s the person you miss..then the best you can do is take your time, miss them and take what you can learn from the relationship to make the next one even better.
You are looking for your person, not a potential future.
Don’t project too far, invest too much- just take your time.
So many times I chased after people I shouldn’t have because I was chasing this potential future I thought I would have with them.
Don’t base your idea of a relationship with someone on the potential. Consider the person in front of you here and now.
And remember, you are a person worth getting to know and love.