Hello again everyone,
Me 23F and my bf 25M have been dating for just over two months and we’ve been through a lot already. We went through some tough arguments, a period where we didn’t speak and an abortion. Now we’re kind of rebuilding our relationship from the ground up. He and I both noticed I was exhibiting unhealthly behaviors that were the cause of some of our problems, I also heard of these patterns in my friendships and previous relationships too. I had already been looking for a therapist before I’d met him, but I’ve decided now it is the time to be intentional about seeing one. Since I want to be a better person overall and also be healthier for myself and him.
I told him last week about this (had already scheduled a psychiatrist visit and saw them) and he got incredibly upset. He asked me why I needed to see a therapist when we could just talk. I asked him his views on it and he said he didn’t care since “I already made a decision” cause it seemed like I wasn’t asking I was telling him. To preface this I’ve struggled with ADHD my entire life and finally feel seen since finding a therapist/psychiatrist. He doesn’t understand this and thinks there’s something else I’m not telling him and that’s why I need a therapist. He even tried to break up with me that evening and said “ I just keep doing what I want and expecting him to be okay with it”. He completely disregarded my feelings and struggles and basically said I was disrespecting him for already going and talking to one.
I felt deep down in me that this is something good and not bad. I even told him about the tools and resources they offer to help with my problems, still he protested so I dropped the matter.
Fast forward to today, I finally found a therapist that is perfect for me and completely affirmed my intuition on why I should have one. This time I immediately told him and said that I really want to keep seeing one. The same thing happened and now he hasn’t responded to me in hours. I feel like I’ve compromised on so many things for him but continues to not reciprocate the energy for me. Especially since this is something that I feel can really help me and him. I’ve tried multiple times to ask him his honest opinions but he has refused to tell me. Today he said that he doesn’t want me seeing a therapist and insists something deeper is going on and I’m not being honest with him..
How can I convince him that this will help me? How do I keep taking care of my mental health knowing he’s upset about this? And is this value too important to compromise on?