I (22F) have been dating my partner (23M) for 1 year. I don’t mind him looking through my phone — I have nothing to hide. What makes me uneasy is how he does it.
For example, the other night we went to a late movie. Toward the end, he stepped out saying he was going to get popcorn, but earlier he had already mentioned the stand was probably closed. At the time, I thought it was a little odd but didn’t dwell on it.
The next morning, while I was on my phone, I realized he had actually gone through it instead.
It’s not the fact that he checked my phone — I genuinely don’t care about that — but it bothers me that he wasn’t upfront and instead used the “popcorn” excuse, which didn’t add up. On top of that, he often does this while we’re spending time together, which makes it feel sneaky and disruptive.
I do want to bring this up, but he’s been stressed lately and the last thing I want is to start an argument, because that’s not my intention at all.
How can I bring this up in a way that keeps the conversation honest and respectful without escalating into conflict?
TL;DR:
My 23M partner of 1 year secretly went through my phone during a movie and lied about why he stepped out. I’m fine with him checking my phone but uneasy about the sneaky behavior. How can I address this respectfully without starting an argument?