I could use some advice! I’ve been on Hinge for a few months and recently met someone who feels genuinely lovely—sweet, kind, and honestly just really good to me. There’s a bit of distance between us (about an hour and a half drive), so when we do see each other, our dates end up lasting around six hours. We’ve only had three so far. For background, I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I’m starting to notice a pattern in myself: whenever things get a little serious, I start to self-sabotage. I’m not sure if it’s fear of the unknown, commitment issues, or just nerves.
On our last date, I found myself feeling uneasy. He was very affectionate (totally respectful, not pushy), wanting to kiss and touch me a lot—but it felt like too much too soon. Affection is something I’m super unfamiliar with, so I ended up stiffening up and feeling awkward. And when we were kissing, I honestly didn’t feel much attraction; I actually didn’t want to keep going.
Now I’m torn—am I blocking myself because I’m scared to be in a relationship, or is the lack of attraction a real sign? He seriously ticks every box on paper, and even friends who know him say he’s a great guy and he treats me wonderfully. I think he’s cute, too. But I really don’t want to lead him on or waste his time if it’s not right. How do I figure out what’s going on with my feelings? Has anyone been through something similar?