Ok, a brief, mostly sad update. Previous post here
We got engaged a year ago, which felt like one of the best days of my life. The universe decided no, and earlier this year I found out my fiance cheated on me in the first months of our relationship and slept with his ex model fling a few times even though he had denied there was anything other than friendship between them. Found out because she still shares mutual friends with him and is in the same field, we were all at an event and she made a snide comment about it after a friend heard about our engagement and congratulated me.
I can't really put into words how betrayed I felt, our entire relationship built on lies and years of insecurity being validated after I finally put them to rest. We tried working through it, but I decided to break things off because I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him again. He made sounds about how it was an early mistake and that I'd be throwing away 5 years of our relationship, but tbh I felt like they never became a thing because she wasn't interested in more, not him. So yeah, I wish I could say all of the "but he picked you" comments were correct, but clearly it was too good to be true.
**tl;dr** Starting over at 34 after finding out my fiance actually did cheat on me with his ex fling at the beginning of our relationship
8 comments
You got some shitty grief to go through, but it gets better, trust the process.
You don’t need him.
I completely support your decision, once trust is broken it’s hard to get back. He threw away 5 years by not telling you the moment he cheated. However, just because this one did not work out doesn’t mean someone else won’t pick you in the future. You know your worth, you got this!
I’m really sorry it ended like this. What an asshat.
By the way, if she was the one that ended it/ refused to let it become more, why did she make snide remarks to you? What a btch.
i’m so sorry. weirdly in a pretty parallel situation right now (just ended my six-year relationship with a former model lol, who ALSO cheated on me early on!) and also feel like i’m starting over. i agree with other comments that he was the one who was wrong. i believe recovery from infidelity is possible but it takes so much honesty and work and if he didn’t even tell you about it, it sounds like he wouldn’t be able to do that work.
i don’t really have any wise words besides love yourself as hard as you can and know you are gaining something by leaving this behind ❤️
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am dealing with something similar right now with my fiancé/ex-fiance?? I truly understand the pain of all your insecurities coming into the surface now, basically like a big neon sign saying “see I told you it’s all true!!!!!!!”. I am still at the beginning of my healing journey and don’t know where I’ll be in 1-3-6-12-18 months time (I am one month from d-day) but just know there is someone (me) feeling the same way you do. Just wanted to drop by with love and solidarity. <3.
I have never seen a 7 year update before. Especially crazy you remembered the user nam and password given you don’t make other posts. What made you do it? How did you remember???
you didn’t throw away 5 years—you refused to waste the next 5. finding out later is brutal, but at least you found out *before* a wedding, kids, shared finances. that’s not a loss, that’s an expensive lesson paid in time instead of your whole life.
the insecurity wasn’t wrong, your gut was on point. next time don’t silence it for someone else’s comfort. trust is earned, not begged for. you’ve already proven you can walk away from what doesn’t serve you—that’s power most people never find.
The real problem with Mr Gorgeous is he has never shut down everyone’s comments. He has remained friends with people who have undermined his relationship with you. He has put you in situations where you were exposed to snide comments and jealously.
>has made some rather judgmental comments about why he isn’t dating someone prettier when he clearly could.
Even without the cheating you should have dumped him. He did not protect you.