Please understand i have had sexual abuse as a child, my husband of 23 years was abusive with domestic violence and committed suicide leaving me to raise 3 teenagers on my own with no financial support. I suffer PTSD and therapists say i lack boundaries in relationships. I know i have alot to do with not standing up for myself but before you judge me and run me down understand you need to walk a day in my shoes and see the anxiety the fight flight response and survival mode i had to have. Along comes my next partner who sees my empathetic nature and kind heart and cheats on me with a younger woman. We broke it off but he somehow managed to get me back and we fell in love i told him he had to never have contact with the girl again if we were ever to work. He secretly kept in contact and i found out he saw her sometimes whether it was physical or not i don’t know. He constantly gaslighted me until i literally lost my mental health and self esteem i obviously have a traumatic live addiction with him as i can’t seem to get him out of my mind i actually believed he was the only man i loved but i know he disrespected me and maybe doesnt really love me i believe she was the one he had true chemistry with. It’s been a year he wants to reconcile but i can’t i don’t feel im
in love but hold resentment, i want closure but i want him to understand the pain he caused. Please help with some suggestions on how to heal and tell him what and how he destroyed me mentally