i really like this guy. like, a lot. but i keep messing everything up. i lie. i hide things. i make him panic. i ruin it every time.
last night was really bad. i told him i would stay clean for him and i really have been trying but i’ve been so stressed and we’ve been fighting and i just needed something to take the edge off. i know i fucked up.
he was angry, i was scared, and he crossed a line i didn’t think he would. i know he didn’t mean to hurt me, he’s just scared. and i probably deserve it bc i lied again but now i feel like maybe i should just run before i completely ruin him and turn him into someone he’s not.
maybe i’m just dramatic. i’m a mess. is there a way to stay without ruining everything or are we already dead in the water?