I (22F) have been close platonic friends with this guy (22M) for years. Earlier this year I went through a terrible breakup and he was extremely supportive.
He’s gay, I’m straight (relevant later). He had a messy situationship a year ago for two months and was heartbroken when it ended. He never told me his ex’s name or showed me a picture, just vague details like his job and college.
A month after my breakup, I redownloaded Hinge. We even scrolled it together for fun sometimes. One night, he used my phone to check if his ex was on there and locked himself in the bathroom when he was doing it; he told me he wasn’t on the app. A few weeks later, I absentmindedly sent a like/message to someone — and it turned out to be his ex. We’d call at night and he’d check in on my “hinge adventures,” I said this guy’s name to my friend, he blew up on me.
He said I was malicious, and called it the most evil thing I could’ve done. I explained I didn’t know, and eventually he said he’d “choose to believe me.” (For context: we never matched, never talked, and the only thing I sent was that initial like.)
The next day, I noticed he blocked me on his finsta. When I asked, he insisted he’d deactivated it, not blocked me. But it was obvious I was blocked. Weeks later at school, I brought it up again and he said the same thing again me and said he would add me back eventually. Even more weeks later, I could also feel him icing me out, so I sent a long message asking if we were okay and telling him I’d respect it if he didn’t want to be friends anymore. He replied that I was overthinking and that he still wanted to be friends. I asked him about why he blocked me and he said it was for “texting his ex,” which never happened. On top of this, another friend from our small circle also blocked me on her finsta and ignored my message when I confronted her. He’s basically the center of the group, so I can’t help but feel pushed out. I’ve tried to talk it out, but at this point I don’t know what else to do. (To note, I’ve tried to fix this with communication over the past 4 months). I feel like there was so much “false reassurance” when I tried to communicate every single time about what’s going on. It was verging on being avoidant and lying about “oh I didn’t block you,” when I clearly could see I am blocked and the account is active. And I think what has made things worse, is that I feel like he is telling people around me that I am terrible or did him dirty which kind of sucks? I can’t really confirm this but I’ve been blocked by our friend group already. And this entire year has been extremely difficult and lonely and this just doesn’t feel kind? If that makes sense?
I guess what I want to know is if I should try to fix this issue another way? Or should I just let it go? Or if you have any other advice on friendships?
TL;DR I accidentally sent a Hinge like to my friend’s ex without knowing it was him (we never matched or spoke). He blew up at me, then claimed to “believe” me but blocked me on instagram, iced me out, and now other friends in our small group are also blocking me. I’ve tried multiple times to talk it out over the last 4 months, but it feels like I’m being pushed away over something I truly didn’t do on purpose. Should I try resolving this issue someway else or should I let it go?