I (23F) had plans with my boyfriend (22M) to see each other today, but there was a water outage at his house. I told him he could come to mine and take a shower (I live with my mom, but she has no problem with him showering here), yet he still decided to cancel our plans. I was really hurt because yesterday was Colombian Valentine’s Day (Amor y Amistad), and he completely forgot. I thought maybe today he would try to make up for it. On top of that, we were supposed to go out so he could help me with apartment hunting (not to live together — it’s just for me).
He's a really sweet guy, and I've made great memories with him, but this incident really bothered me. So I talked to him and explained that this made me upset. He acknowledged my feelings but said he feels uncomfortable going to my house without having showered. To me, true love is about making sacrifices. This was one of them. This really bothered me because he has a pattern of being lazy or not putting in enough effort, and this just reinforced it.
For context, we were on a break a month and a half ago (it's the only break we've had in a 2-year relationship) because I discovered I had chlamydia. He's the only person I've ever been intimate with (he's even the first person I kissed). Before we started having sex, I told him he should get tested, and he agreed. He got partially tested (just for HIV). I knew that and agreed to have sex with him. I know that was my mistake. I knew the risks, but I was a bit stupid and thought nothing bad would happen. I told him to take the rest of the tests, but he never did, and I didn't want to push him or have an argument. I started to note some symptoms and visited my gynecologist, who did some tests, and I discovered I had that. I received the treatment and told my partner to take it too. He apologized, and I pretended everything was okay. But it wasn't. His touch started to hurt me, his kisses, his words. So I took a break to process everything. Yes, I'd made a mistake, but I was hurt by his actions. The break lasted for 3 weeks, and I was pretty sad during those days. Though I realized I don't have much emotional intimacy with him, he's someone who doesn't open up that easily. I don’t think the reason is that he's troubled or something similar; he's rather a chill, simple guy who enjoys life as it is. After the break, we talked about what happened, he apologized, and we decided to take some counseling sessions. In my heart, I had forgiven him. I was really glad that we could work things out and that our relationship was stronger. But the things that happened today really trigger that wound. What should I do? Am I overreacting? Am I asking for too much?
TL;DR: My boyfriend (22M) canceled our plans today because there was a water outage at his house, even though I offered him my shower. It hurt because he also forgot Colombian Valentine’s Day yesterday, and we were supposed to go apartment hunting for me. This isn’t the first time he’s avoided making an effort — he once didn’t follow through on getting properly tested, and I ended up with chlamydia, which led to a 3-week breakup. We’re now in counselin,g and I forgave him, but today’s incident reopened that wound. Am I overreacting, or is this a real pattern of him not showing up when it counts?