What’s it like to live life as a really good looking guy?
September 27, 2025
Genuinely curious for insights on what life is like as a good looking dude? I’m squarely average and definitely have had friends who get pretty-privilege. What’s your perspective on this?
42 comments
It’s pretty great
Women are nice to you. Gay guys are nice to you. Companies want you to work for them and feel good about you interacting with customers. For some reason, people trust me very quickly, but that could also be my personality and disposition.
everyone assumes im sleeping with a ton of people and i get free stuff sometimes
everyone expects me to be dumb as hell and into sports, as opposed to the reality where i am dumb as hell and into sci fi
It’s hard trying to live up too myself but I am pretty humble.
Sometimes my penis is sore.
Get to bang yo mom
The main thing:
People, both men and women, make life easier for you.
There was someone in another subreddit who nailed what I am. I wish I had it saved but to paraphrase them, “He’s not banging 8, 9, and 10s. But he’s plowing through 4, 5, and 6s like it’s a full time job with unlimited overtime. And he loves it because deep down he’s always alone and sad.”
[deleted]
I am like you but I have friends that somehow pull women seemingly without effort.
My cousin was a musician and fairly exoctic looking and handsome. While in my teens and 20s I struggled to find a woman to date me, he had a seemingly endless parade of hot women he banged.
This guy is now in his 50s and married but still has good looking women hitting on him.
In fact, he went to a fundraising event a while back with his pre-teen son, his wife was going late so they were alone. There were a couple of celebrities there, actors from a popular show you likely would know. One of the female actresses, early 40s and very attractive, sort of hung out with my cousin and his son for a good chunk of the event. He said he was getting very flirty interest vibes from her. But then his wife arrived and after introducing her, the celeb sort of moved on and started to mingle.
A good HS friend of mine was male model handsome. More than once I had been at a house party trying to find a woman to date/hookup only to strike out every time. In more than one instance, he arrived and was making out with the hottest girl there, in once case within five minutes of arriving.
Another guy I grew up with is in his late 50s, divorced. Tall, good looking, still has a full head of hair. Has dated younger women the last several years, and good looking ones too. Girls in their 30s in some cases. He just met a woman who was his nurse at the hospital when he went in for a minor injury. Got her number and they’ve been dating. I think she’s like 37 and smoking hot.
I just shake my head because none of this has been my experience as an average, not ugly, guy.
A few years ago I posted an anecdote on Reddit about how I kept losing my expensive camera when I travel and people would always go out of their way to get it back to me (including a cab driver driving 45 minutes out of their way). I was trying to make the case that people are good at heart. The first reply was “you must be attractive”. That was a moment of self-realization that I had a lot of things on easy-mode – everyone is nicer and most things are simply easier when you’re attractive.
Since then I had kids and got a bit out of shape, and I clearly see the contrast.
I am tall, confident, well-dressed, and I have a PhD. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I have gotten jobs where I wasn’t the best applicant. I also had an edgy phase when I was younger and I said some really horrible and mean jokes, but I did it with that wink-wink-smirk-smirk that lets certain people get away with being cruel. I have since mellowed out a lot.
Women smile at me often and I seem to get asked questions by strangers surprisingly often. Apparently I look safe and trustworthy. I am not a 10/10 model at all, but the height, being well-groomed, and fit helps a lot. All the women I date now are exceptionally successful which is a big plus.
I feel like an asshole writing all this, but I am aware that many things in my life have happened precisely because I am not short, bald, have missing teeth and awful body odor, ya know? A lot of my current confidence probably also stems from positive interactions early in my life. Success breeds success.
I was an ugly duckling who ended up in *number one* on that old Hot or Not website (that ages me horribly). I didn’t know how to adapt to going from a nerd to desirable to women so I wasted a lot of opportunities, haha…
The two biggest take-aways for me are that a lot of girls you think are your friends are only there because they’re crushing on you. As soon as you have a girlfriend, things get spicy (in a bad way). And that it’s really easy to get what you want because people have an inherent bias to just like you more. That “hello, Human Resources?!” meme is very accurate. I got hired for jobs more easily, made friends everywhere I went, etc.
When I met my wife, about 80% of the friends I hung out with regularly were girls, including her. Once we became a couple, all but two of those people erased me from their life.
It’s hard to truly know because I don’t have the perspective of being something different.
I have learned from friends over time that, no, not every girl is immediately friendly, no, they do not get free stuff places, their mistakes are not immediately forgiven and no, girls do not hit on them all the time.
I’ll never know
I’m not necessarily a good looking guy, but every once in a while I get hit on.
for example, last week I was walking to the grocery store that’s about 500 feet away from me because I live in the city and when I got back home, I put my stuff down in about five minutes later I heard a knock on my door.
I opened the door and there stood someone asking me out. They somehow saw me and followed me home and wanted to go on a date with me.
of course I declined because it’s a fucking stranger and that’s insane but that’s the kind of stuff you deal with if someone finds you very attractive.
I’m not saying I’m attractive. I’m saying I’m average but every once in a while, someone will find me very attractive and this is how they respond.
People tell you you’re handsome often. They’re also nicer to you than they are to other people. I’ve had women approach me first often. When you are in a relationship, at least a few of your GF’s friends will tell her you’re cute.
Also, there are MANY instances from when you were 18-21 and women made it super obvious they wanted to fuck you and you didn’t figure it out till years later, lol.
I’m 28 so maybe different for older guys.
I’m told I’m handsome. I have a deep voice and people like that. I feel like 99% of it is because I’m above average height, my fitness level, and some basic self care. Being freckled, having red hair, and blue eyes seems to be in my favor.
9/10 jobs I have interviewed for I got an offer. I haven’t struggled with women. In fact I draw a certain type of crazy that I need to watch out for and am cautious around very forward women now. Sometimes I notice people at work dismiss me, but I work in academia and am muscular so that is apparently normal.
Average face but pretty athletic and tall, I also think I’m pretty friendly and chatty having worked in hospitality and then customer focused roles most of my life. I don’t think I’m a really good looking guy but have learnt as I got older I’m probably slightly above average as a package. There’s one demographic of women that definitely seem to like me a lot more than the others which is interesting, but a lot of gay guys do seem to like me.
I think pretty privilege is real. I am aware that some women are nicer to me because of it, and whilst I wouldn’t say I’m arrogant at all, I do enjoy it. I also notice some men dont like it and can take a while to win over. I had one manager that seemed to really not like me and I couldn’t figure out why. It didn’t feel like a personality mismatch, it was weird. A colleague said she thought the manager was intimidated by me. I don’t know if it’s true of course, he might just not have liked me. One of my good friends I’ve known well over a decade said to me a couple of months ago ‘how are you so hot and a nice guy? It’s not fair man can’t you be like a bastard or something?’ He was joking but it did make me a bit surprised he was thinking that. But you know we can only play with the hands we’re dealt, it’s hard to know how your experience differs from others. Some times I feel like women are giving me different treatment to my friends or colleagues, sometimes not. I will say though it’s made me more aware of my behaviour and I try to notice if I’m giving people pretty privilege and try to actively give that same energy to everyone.
The tall thing is real though. Many times I’ve been introduced to someone while sitting at my desk or at a table at a restaurant/bar and then noticed their energy change when I’ve got up and they realise how tall I am – men and women.
Mixed bag. Either people assume you’re highly competent, or they think you’re really dumb and just get by on your looks. I’ve made money off my looks. I have gotten jobs because of my looks. I have been propositioned a lot because of my looks. I have also been ignored by women I was interested in because they thought I was a fuckboy. I have had people assume I was a douchbag frat boy. Overall the good outweighed the bad, but there are drawbacks.
I went from not to hot some years ago. More strangers become interested in striking up conversations with you. When I’m in extracurricular events they always want me at the front of the photo.
If I were interested in clubs and hooking up I’ve found on the few times I was in those circumstances briefly it did me favors but that’s not the type of social setting or romance I have any interest in.
Dating very attractive women becomes feasible but honestly at a certain level of attractiveness their behavior becomes a bit of a pain in the ass-my theory is that when a woman is hot enough they never suffer consequences from being difficult—their friends remain loyal and there’s always a new guy—so there’s no incentive to not be an ass.
Dating women of average attractiveness is considerably easier. Conversation is far less difficult to maintain when the other person gives a damn.
“Hey, I’m here for the fun life and easy puss”
Lots of random compliments. Shoes, shirts, always hair. I’m well groomed and have a tendency to keep up with simple fashion at worl.
People are friendly and open doors and smile.
Funny thing, I was skinny and always kinda whatever about things. Didn’t go outta my way to be overly nice.
As I aged, my face filled out and I just started getting much nicer to everyone. A first smile goes so far with people. It sets the stage.
I also started to have older women ask me often if I was single and how they had daughters that were single and were looking for fun random dates.
I also started getting touched alot on convos. Like on the arms and getting hugs. It honestly came outta the blue in my 30s once I was married and started just being myself.
I’m not sure I like it or ever brag about it, but it’s often come up around my sister in-laws side being asked if I’m married or divorced…
Funny stuff. When you stop trying to pick up women, they seem to be really drawn to you.
Unless you can… back it up with big boy pants, it’s absolutely pointless. I know you all have probably heard this in Fight Club, but I completely agree- before high school, get yourself in a real fight. Or two. Or three. And lose. You have to work out that fear of confrontation. So you can recognize when “we’re done talking.” Otherwise, you’re just a nice paint job.
I was really attractive when I was younger. Now I’m accepting/understanding the not so attractive lifestyle as I’m getting older. When I was younger random people would want to have more and longer conversations, they’d compliment me more, dates and life was just easier…now I’m older and less attractive it’s the opposite. But people did want to date me or hook up because of what I looked like and who they assumed I was, until they got to know me. I’m sensitive, and don’t/didn’t do 1 night stands. There was an episode of the B in apartment 23, guy was really attractive, had a bird, but was not dumb just slower? but really kind and wanted to get to deeper levels of relationship, and the women didn’t care for it…I always wondered if I was that guy? And were women/people really that shallow? And it made me sad.
It’s tough bro you wouldn’t want this
I make women sad because i have a girlfriend.
Girls, then women tended to find their way toward me to strike up conversation or ask a question. Lots of people stare at you (which was really weird). Being tall (6’2”) kind of made it worse and better, if you know what I mean. It was somewhat harder to make friends with men. Getting a job was never a hassle, so that part was okay. Overall, it’s been alright. Been married to a really pleasant, kind-hearted woman who has a sunny disposition for over 31 years. I guess you could say that I’ve had a good run.
I knew a woman that used to say, “you are a handsome straight white man. You have nothing to complain about.” Which is true in many ways, but I feel like people who don’t know you expect you to fit into whatever “good looking white dude” is supposed to be for them. Good or bad.
I’ve been often judged as either a “douchebag” or “gay” on first meeting… people will tell me this after they get to know me…idk if it’s the looks and their biases or insecurities? but i don’t know what else it could be.
While there are some perks. Overall it hasn’t had a major impact on me other than I’m kind of bitter about it. I grew up being told I was so smart. So handsome. Blah blah. Society, your family, strangers… they expect more from you
Assumed competence across the board, and so much leeway in many aspects of life.
Absolute universal choice, in terms of relationships. Casual or otherwise, and there’s also an assuredness and another level of contentment when single. Understanding it is completely by choice.
If you’re in a relationship, or starting one, and some compatibility issues start to show up. Generally a partner will try to make it work, as long as they can…Lamenting a break-up a lot harder than usual, if things pan out like that.
Personality qualities that are generally not seen as attractive, there’s more benefit of the doubt given. If you have hobbies and interests, outside of the norm. They become “quirks”.
Again in dating, dealbreakers suddenly disappear. “Not looking for hookups” goes out the window.
—–
A friend of mine is exceptionally attractive. When he was living in his mother’s garage conversion, and unemployed. He was pursued by extremely attractive and accomplished women. Solicitors, financiers, doctors. He was always given the benefit of the doubt, and just needed to quote from a few books on Stoicism, and play his guitar…and there were no questions asked in terms of what he was doing with his life.
Women who had options, very good options. They would knowingly “share him”, understanding he was dating and sleeping with several at the same time. Far better to share the extremely attractive guy, than date someone not on a par lookswise.
Many women obsessed over him for years, some he dated 10 years ago. They still “check-in”, no matter where they are and who they are with now.
—–
Another friend is the son of a wealthy estate owner and a model. Heir to a fortune, and indeed has one already anyway.
He has exotic good looks from his mother’s side…and with no real need to work (although he does train Racehorses for fun and profit), he is in great athletic shape.
Any venue he walks in. You just sense a shift. People are aware of his presence. You even, to a point become more attractive by association.
He has fully embraced online dating, and lives in a rural area of natural beauty. Without exaggerating, himself and a select few of his similarly attractive peers.
They are first choice across entire regions, if they appear on the apps.
First choice, consistently in a radius of say 50 miles…Often regardless of “type”, their matches are originally looking for.
They get to decide in a matter of hours, whether to be active on an app, and arrange a date, or meet someone for casual sex on the same evening, or for the weekend at least. Neither knowing of each other’s existence until swiping.
Dating or sex on a schedule completely of their own choosing.
—
It’s an eye-opener to say the least.
Tbh, I never could tell if chicks were interested in me for my looks or because of who I was. I’ve always been able to walk in to anywhere and pull the hottest woman but having that ability made me uninterested in chasing tail. Decent women would think I was a player because I’m good looking and charismatic, sluts would fawn over me.
It got harder when I started to become “wealthy” because then I had to try and hide my wealth so I wouldn’t get gold diggers chasing me.
In social situations, people tend to speak to me first. I do have a strong presence, being tall, athletic/muscular, good looking, they just sort of focus on me. It doesn’t help that my position now (and always) have been in leadership, so I tend to have that commanding presence that people want to hear from.
I went through a phase a few years where I just made myself look terrible, unkempt, homeless sheik, drove a shit car with a broken windshield that I refused to fix,.wore the same ratty clothes, etc.
I met my wife while I was in my worst condition, she actually thought I was homeless and let me crash on her couch, was back packing for 6 months after a near death experience left me partially paralyzed. She had no idea of my financial status until we officially started dating and I was still recovering so I was in the worst shape of my life. She is a rare one.
My ambulance partner was apparently a really good-looking guy. Women would ogle over him all the time. Every place we went they were staring. They would run into their friends or store racks or whatever staring. O remember this one time this cute girl walked by us parked in the ambulance and she looked at him and kept walking. He said, “She’s going to have to look again, wait for it, wait for it…” sure enough, she gets about 40 feet away, and she had to turn and take another look. He says, “gotcha”. He was a nice guy. Married a really hot lawyer gal and only had to work if he wanted to. Was funny to see this.
Your life will get alot better when you stop comparing yourself to others.
What will you do with this information?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I have a dark and twisted sense of humor and insult comedy is my absolute favorite.
That being said, I get away with saying A LOT of things that shouldn’t be said.
I was tall, blonde, good looking, and crazy shy. I was still thinking I was that dopey looking kid in highschool. People assumed I was strong and confident. I was confident in my physical abilities but not in my ability to talk to women. Luckily I had a best female friend that turned into my wife.
Yeah I did pretty alright with the ladies, but the biggest help was for my mental health. Whenever I was down with myself, I looked in the mirror and was like “Wow, what a good looking dude.”
Gay men, especially older, and 30+ women. Young women want nothing to do with me. Free stuff is nice. I never ask for it but they get offended if I insist on paying. Not all the time but often enough that my friends notice it. I don’t think I am that good looking, but I did get ice blue eyes from my grandmother and that is what is commented on most frequently.
OK I’ll bite. In my 20’s I was considered “kinda hot” by my female friends, and worked as a lifeguard by day and bartended at night. I also worked as a fitting model for a sportswear manufacturer. “Pretty-privilege” was definitely a thing. However, I also have a touch of social anxiety and definitely didn’t like aggressive women. They are also a thing. It did illustrate to me what women go through from men. I also tended to have a lot of gay friends (didn’t think anything of it at the time, duh!) They were super-helpful when clothes shopping though, dudes had style, lol.
Also noticed that after I got married, my wedding band seemed to attract more attention than a bare finger. I definitely didn’t like that at all and stopped wearing it (at that point I was also working around machinery, so my wife was ok with me leaving it in her jewelry case. I still wore it on “dress up” occasions). Has anyone else experienced that kind of unwanted attention?
Sometimes you die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Other answers generally are correct.
I’ll add that especially given that we’re in the “over 30” subreddit here – that cumulative difference in how your experiences with humanity have been much more positive than the average person’s – can really add up to a totally different mindset by this age.
Much of what makes for “confidence” is really just learned experience – I have positive experiences with almost everyone I encounter, and even if I don’t really like them they usually still like *me*.
Not that I have a reference otherwise, but I’m guessing it’s a lot easier for me to be relaxed and comfortable talking to women or in a job interview, or even to a cop, because I know they’re generally going to be friendly with me and inclined to think positively of me.
——
Secondary note is that the easy trust extended to me is wild, and sometimes a little uncomfortable. Yes, I’m safe but you in no way *know* that after knowing me for only a few minutes. No one in their right mind should be handing the guy they just met their drink while they head to the bathroom (unless they’re not going to drink it after). And yet…..things like that happen all the time.
You get a lot more attention from men in general. Women won’t approach you unless you’re a celebrity.
Other than that in general more people like you and life is a little easier.
42 comments
It’s pretty great
Women are nice to you. Gay guys are nice to you. Companies want you to work for them and feel good about you interacting with customers. For some reason, people trust me very quickly, but that could also be my personality and disposition.
everyone assumes im sleeping with a ton of people and i get free stuff sometimes
everyone expects me to be dumb as hell and into sports, as opposed to the reality where i am dumb as hell and into sci fi
It’s hard trying to live up too myself but I am pretty humble.
Sometimes my penis is sore.
Get to bang yo mom
The main thing:
People, both men and women, make life easier for you.
There was someone in another subreddit who nailed what I am. I wish I had it saved but to paraphrase them, “He’s not banging 8, 9, and 10s. But he’s plowing through 4, 5, and 6s like it’s a full time job with unlimited overtime. And he loves it because deep down he’s always alone and sad.”
[deleted]
I am like you but I have friends that somehow pull women seemingly without effort.
My cousin was a musician and fairly exoctic looking and handsome. While in my teens and 20s I struggled to find a woman to date me, he had a seemingly endless parade of hot women he banged.
This guy is now in his 50s and married but still has good looking women hitting on him.
In fact, he went to a fundraising event a while back with his pre-teen son, his wife was going late so they were alone. There were a couple of celebrities there, actors from a popular show you likely would know. One of the female actresses, early 40s and very attractive, sort of hung out with my cousin and his son for a good chunk of the event. He said he was getting very flirty interest vibes from her. But then his wife arrived and after introducing her, the celeb sort of moved on and started to mingle.
A good HS friend of mine was male model handsome. More than once I had been at a house party trying to find a woman to date/hookup only to strike out every time. In more than one instance, he arrived and was making out with the hottest girl there, in once case within five minutes of arriving.
Another guy I grew up with is in his late 50s, divorced. Tall, good looking, still has a full head of hair. Has dated younger women the last several years, and good looking ones too. Girls in their 30s in some cases. He just met a woman who was his nurse at the hospital when he went in for a minor injury. Got her number and they’ve been dating. I think she’s like 37 and smoking hot.
I just shake my head because none of this has been my experience as an average, not ugly, guy.
A few years ago I posted an anecdote on Reddit about how I kept losing my expensive camera when I travel and people would always go out of their way to get it back to me (including a cab driver driving 45 minutes out of their way). I was trying to make the case that people are good at heart. The first reply was “you must be attractive”. That was a moment of self-realization that I had a lot of things on easy-mode – everyone is nicer and most things are simply easier when you’re attractive.
Since then I had kids and got a bit out of shape, and I clearly see the contrast.
I am tall, confident, well-dressed, and I have a PhD. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I have gotten jobs where I wasn’t the best applicant. I also had an edgy phase when I was younger and I said some really horrible and mean jokes, but I did it with that wink-wink-smirk-smirk that lets certain people get away with being cruel. I have since mellowed out a lot.
Women smile at me often and I seem to get asked questions by strangers surprisingly often. Apparently I look safe and trustworthy. I am not a 10/10 model at all, but the height, being well-groomed, and fit helps a lot. All the women I date now are exceptionally successful which is a big plus.
I feel like an asshole writing all this, but I am aware that many things in my life have happened precisely because I am not short, bald, have missing teeth and awful body odor, ya know? A lot of my current confidence probably also stems from positive interactions early in my life. Success breeds success.
I was an ugly duckling who ended up in *number one* on that old Hot or Not website (that ages me horribly). I didn’t know how to adapt to going from a nerd to desirable to women so I wasted a lot of opportunities, haha…
The two biggest take-aways for me are that a lot of girls you think are your friends are only there because they’re crushing on you. As soon as you have a girlfriend, things get spicy (in a bad way). And that it’s really easy to get what you want because people have an inherent bias to just like you more. That “hello, Human Resources?!” meme is very accurate. I got hired for jobs more easily, made friends everywhere I went, etc.
When I met my wife, about 80% of the friends I hung out with regularly were girls, including her. Once we became a couple, all but two of those people erased me from their life.
It’s hard to truly know because I don’t have the perspective of being something different.
I have learned from friends over time that, no, not every girl is immediately friendly, no, they do not get free stuff places, their mistakes are not immediately forgiven and no, girls do not hit on them all the time.
I’ll never know
I’m not necessarily a good looking guy, but every once in a while I get hit on.
for example, last week I was walking to the grocery store that’s about 500 feet away from me because I live in the city and when I got back home, I put my stuff down in about five minutes later I heard a knock on my door.
I opened the door and there stood someone asking me out. They somehow saw me and followed me home and wanted to go on a date with me.
of course I declined because it’s a fucking stranger and that’s insane but that’s the kind of stuff you deal with if someone finds you very attractive.
I’m not saying I’m attractive. I’m saying I’m average but every once in a while, someone will find me very attractive and this is how they respond.
People tell you you’re handsome often. They’re also nicer to you than they are to other people. I’ve had women approach me first often. When you are in a relationship, at least a few of your GF’s friends will tell her you’re cute.
Also, there are MANY instances from when you were 18-21 and women made it super obvious they wanted to fuck you and you didn’t figure it out till years later, lol.
I’m 28 so maybe different for older guys.
I’m told I’m handsome. I have a deep voice and people like that. I feel like 99% of it is because I’m above average height, my fitness level, and some basic self care. Being freckled, having red hair, and blue eyes seems to be in my favor.
9/10 jobs I have interviewed for I got an offer. I haven’t struggled with women. In fact I draw a certain type of crazy that I need to watch out for and am cautious around very forward women now. Sometimes I notice people at work dismiss me, but I work in academia and am muscular so that is apparently normal.
Average face but pretty athletic and tall, I also think I’m pretty friendly and chatty having worked in hospitality and then customer focused roles most of my life. I don’t think I’m a really good looking guy but have learnt as I got older I’m probably slightly above average as a package. There’s one demographic of women that definitely seem to like me a lot more than the others which is interesting, but a lot of gay guys do seem to like me.
I think pretty privilege is real. I am aware that some women are nicer to me because of it, and whilst I wouldn’t say I’m arrogant at all, I do enjoy it. I also notice some men dont like it and can take a while to win over. I had one manager that seemed to really not like me and I couldn’t figure out why. It didn’t feel like a personality mismatch, it was weird. A colleague said she thought the manager was intimidated by me. I don’t know if it’s true of course, he might just not have liked me. One of my good friends I’ve known well over a decade said to me a couple of months ago ‘how are you so hot and a nice guy? It’s not fair man can’t you be like a bastard or something?’ He was joking but it did make me a bit surprised he was thinking that. But you know we can only play with the hands we’re dealt, it’s hard to know how your experience differs from others. Some times I feel like women are giving me different treatment to my friends or colleagues, sometimes not. I will say though it’s made me more aware of my behaviour and I try to notice if I’m giving people pretty privilege and try to actively give that same energy to everyone.
The tall thing is real though. Many times I’ve been introduced to someone while sitting at my desk or at a table at a restaurant/bar and then noticed their energy change when I’ve got up and they realise how tall I am – men and women.
Mixed bag. Either people assume you’re highly competent, or they think you’re really dumb and just get by on your looks. I’ve made money off my looks. I have gotten jobs because of my looks. I have been propositioned a lot because of my looks. I have also been ignored by women I was interested in because they thought I was a fuckboy. I have had people assume I was a douchbag frat boy. Overall the good outweighed the bad, but there are drawbacks.
I went from not to hot some years ago. More strangers become interested in striking up conversations with you. When I’m in extracurricular events they always want me at the front of the photo.
If I were interested in clubs and hooking up I’ve found on the few times I was in those circumstances briefly it did me favors but that’s not the type of social setting or romance I have any interest in.
Dating very attractive women becomes feasible but honestly at a certain level of attractiveness their behavior becomes a bit of a pain in the ass-my theory is that when a woman is hot enough they never suffer consequences from being difficult—their friends remain loyal and there’s always a new guy—so there’s no incentive to not be an ass.
Dating women of average attractiveness is considerably easier. Conversation is far less difficult to maintain when the other person gives a damn.
“Hey, I’m here for the fun life and easy puss”
Lots of random compliments. Shoes, shirts, always hair. I’m well groomed and have a tendency to keep up with simple fashion at worl.
People are friendly and open doors and smile.
Funny thing, I was skinny and always kinda whatever about things. Didn’t go outta my way to be overly nice.
As I aged, my face filled out and I just started getting much nicer to everyone. A first smile goes so far with people. It sets the stage.
I also started to have older women ask me often if I was single and how they had daughters that were single and were looking for fun random dates.
I also started getting touched alot on convos. Like on the arms and getting hugs. It honestly came outta the blue in my 30s once I was married and started just being myself.
I’m not sure I like it or ever brag about it, but it’s often come up around my sister in-laws side being asked if I’m married or divorced…
Funny stuff. When you stop trying to pick up women, they seem to be really drawn to you.
Unless you can… back it up with big boy pants, it’s absolutely pointless. I know you all have probably heard this in Fight Club, but I completely agree- before high school, get yourself in a real fight. Or two. Or three. And lose. You have to work out that fear of confrontation. So you can recognize when “we’re done talking.” Otherwise, you’re just a nice paint job.
I was really attractive when I was younger. Now I’m accepting/understanding the not so attractive lifestyle as I’m getting older. When I was younger random people would want to have more and longer conversations, they’d compliment me more, dates and life was just easier…now I’m older and less attractive it’s the opposite. But people did want to date me or hook up because of what I looked like and who they assumed I was, until they got to know me. I’m sensitive, and don’t/didn’t do 1 night stands. There was an episode of the B in apartment 23, guy was really attractive, had a bird, but was not dumb just slower? but really kind and wanted to get to deeper levels of relationship, and the women didn’t care for it…I always wondered if I was that guy? And were women/people really that shallow? And it made me sad.
It’s tough bro you wouldn’t want this
I make women sad because i have a girlfriend.
Girls, then women tended to find their way toward me to strike up conversation or ask a question. Lots of people stare at you (which was really weird). Being tall (6’2”) kind of made it worse and better, if you know what I mean. It was somewhat harder to make friends with men. Getting a job was never a hassle, so that part was okay. Overall, it’s been alright. Been married to a really pleasant, kind-hearted woman who has a sunny disposition for over 31 years. I guess you could say that I’ve had a good run.
I knew a woman that used to say, “you are a handsome straight white man. You have nothing to complain about.” Which is true in many ways, but I feel like people who don’t know you expect you to fit into whatever “good looking white dude” is supposed to be for them. Good or bad.
I’ve been often judged as either a “douchebag” or “gay” on first meeting… people will tell me this after they get to know me…idk if it’s the looks and their biases or insecurities? but i don’t know what else it could be.
While there are some perks. Overall it hasn’t had a major impact on me other than I’m kind of bitter about it. I grew up being told I was so smart. So handsome. Blah blah. Society, your family, strangers… they expect more from you
Assumed competence across the board, and so much leeway in many aspects of life.
Absolute universal choice, in terms of relationships. Casual or otherwise, and there’s also an assuredness and another level of contentment when single. Understanding it is completely by choice.
If you’re in a relationship, or starting one, and some compatibility issues start to show up. Generally a partner will try to make it work, as long as they can…Lamenting a break-up a lot harder than usual, if things pan out like that.
Personality qualities that are generally not seen as attractive, there’s more benefit of the doubt given. If you have hobbies and interests, outside of the norm. They become “quirks”.
Again in dating, dealbreakers suddenly disappear. “Not looking for hookups” goes out the window.
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A friend of mine is exceptionally attractive. When he was living in his mother’s garage conversion, and unemployed. He was pursued by extremely attractive and accomplished women. Solicitors, financiers, doctors. He was always given the benefit of the doubt, and just needed to quote from a few books on Stoicism, and play his guitar…and there were no questions asked in terms of what he was doing with his life.
Women who had options, very good options. They would knowingly “share him”, understanding he was dating and sleeping with several at the same time. Far better to share the extremely attractive guy, than date someone not on a par lookswise.
Many women obsessed over him for years, some he dated 10 years ago. They still “check-in”, no matter where they are and who they are with now.
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Another friend is the son of a wealthy estate owner and a model. Heir to a fortune, and indeed has one already anyway.
He has exotic good looks from his mother’s side…and with no real need to work (although he does train Racehorses for fun and profit), he is in great athletic shape.
Any venue he walks in. You just sense a shift. People are aware of his presence. You even, to a point become more attractive by association.
He has fully embraced online dating, and lives in a rural area of natural beauty. Without exaggerating, himself and a select few of his similarly attractive peers.
They are first choice across entire regions, if they appear on the apps.
First choice, consistently in a radius of say 50 miles…Often regardless of “type”, their matches are originally looking for.
They get to decide in a matter of hours, whether to be active on an app, and arrange a date, or meet someone for casual sex on the same evening, or for the weekend at least. Neither knowing of each other’s existence until swiping.
Dating or sex on a schedule completely of their own choosing.
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It’s an eye-opener to say the least.
Tbh, I never could tell if chicks were interested in me for my looks or because of who I was. I’ve always been able to walk in to anywhere and pull the hottest woman but having that ability made me uninterested in chasing tail. Decent women would think I was a player because I’m good looking and charismatic, sluts would fawn over me.
It got harder when I started to become “wealthy” because then I had to try and hide my wealth so I wouldn’t get gold diggers chasing me.
In social situations, people tend to speak to me first. I do have a strong presence, being tall, athletic/muscular, good looking, they just sort of focus on me. It doesn’t help that my position now (and always) have been in leadership, so I tend to have that commanding presence that people want to hear from.
I went through a phase a few years where I just made myself look terrible, unkempt, homeless sheik, drove a shit car with a broken windshield that I refused to fix,.wore the same ratty clothes, etc.
I met my wife while I was in my worst condition, she actually thought I was homeless and let me crash on her couch, was back packing for 6 months after a near death experience left me partially paralyzed. She had no idea of my financial status until we officially started dating and I was still recovering so I was in the worst shape of my life. She is a rare one.
My ambulance partner was apparently a really good-looking guy. Women would ogle over him all the time. Every place we went they were staring. They would run into their friends or store racks or whatever staring. O remember this one time this cute girl walked by us parked in the ambulance and she looked at him and kept walking. He said, “She’s going to have to look again, wait for it, wait for it…” sure enough, she gets about 40 feet away, and she had to turn and take another look. He says, “gotcha”. He was a nice guy. Married a really hot lawyer gal and only had to work if he wanted to. Was funny to see this.
Your life will get alot better when you stop comparing yourself to others.
What will you do with this information?
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I have a dark and twisted sense of humor and insult comedy is my absolute favorite.
That being said, I get away with saying A LOT of things that shouldn’t be said.
I was tall, blonde, good looking, and crazy shy. I was still thinking I was that dopey looking kid in highschool. People assumed I was strong and confident. I was confident in my physical abilities but not in my ability to talk to women. Luckily I had a best female friend that turned into my wife.
Yeah I did pretty alright with the ladies, but the biggest help was for my mental health. Whenever I was down with myself, I looked in the mirror and was like “Wow, what a good looking dude.”
Gay men, especially older, and 30+ women. Young women want nothing to do with me. Free stuff is nice. I never ask for it but they get offended if I insist on paying. Not all the time but often enough that my friends notice it. I don’t think I am that good looking, but I did get ice blue eyes from my grandmother and that is what is commented on most frequently.
OK I’ll bite. In my 20’s I was considered “kinda hot” by my female friends, and worked as a lifeguard by day and bartended at night. I also worked as a fitting model for a sportswear manufacturer. “Pretty-privilege” was definitely a thing. However, I also have a touch of social anxiety and definitely didn’t like aggressive women. They are also a thing. It did illustrate to me what women go through from men. I also tended to have a lot of gay friends (didn’t think anything of it at the time, duh!) They were super-helpful when clothes shopping though, dudes had style, lol.
Also noticed that after I got married, my wedding band seemed to attract more attention than a bare finger. I definitely didn’t like that at all and stopped wearing it (at that point I was also working around machinery, so my wife was ok with me leaving it in her jewelry case. I still wore it on “dress up” occasions). Has anyone else experienced that kind of unwanted attention?
Sometimes you die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Other answers generally are correct.
I’ll add that especially given that we’re in the “over 30” subreddit here – that cumulative difference in how your experiences with humanity have been much more positive than the average person’s – can really add up to a totally different mindset by this age.
Much of what makes for “confidence” is really just learned experience – I have positive experiences with almost everyone I encounter, and even if I don’t really like them they usually still like *me*.
Not that I have a reference otherwise, but I’m guessing it’s a lot easier for me to be relaxed and comfortable talking to women or in a job interview, or even to a cop, because I know they’re generally going to be friendly with me and inclined to think positively of me.
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Secondary note is that the easy trust extended to me is wild, and sometimes a little uncomfortable. Yes, I’m safe but you in no way *know* that after knowing me for only a few minutes. No one in their right mind should be handing the guy they just met their drink while they head to the bathroom (unless they’re not going to drink it after). And yet…..things like that happen all the time.
You get a lot more attention from men in general. Women won’t approach you unless you’re a celebrity.
Other than that in general more people like you and life is a little easier.