TL;DR: My girlfriend is planning to travel overnight with a man she met online who’s been showing increasingly concerning behavior. She won’t listen to my safety concerns.
My girlfriend Sarah is a talented singer-songwriter who streams on YouTube and makes modest income from viewer donations. A few months ago, a viewer claiming to be a CEO reached out offering to pay her for custom songs. It seemed like a great opportunity at first.
Here’s what I’ve learned about this “CEO”:
- His “company” is literally just him – he buys products online and resells them
- Despite having no connection to music or media, he’s positioning himself as her business mentor
- They have weekly video calls that last 1-3 hours, covering everything from her music to deeply personal topics about her past trauma
- He recently started requesting “urgent” calls that turn out to be completely non-urgent
The situation that’s really worrying me: he’s proposed they travel to a remote location for several days to film a music video for her songs. There’s no professional crew – just the two of them. When she asked about hiring a real videographer, he deflected and said he’d handle the filming himself.
I’ve tried explaining how unsafe this sounds:
- A legitimate business wouldn’t send someone alone to a remote location with no crew
- His escalating personal calls and long “mentoring” sessions seem inappropriate
- The whole setup feels predatory, especially given that she’s shared vulnerable details about her past
But Sarah insists this is a real opportunity and thinks I’m being controlling or jealous. She says she can handle herself and that I need to trust her judgment. The more I express concern, the more defensive she gets.
I love her and want to support her music career, but this situation has so many red flags. How do I protect someone who doesn’t want to be protected? Do I just step back and let her make this mistake? I’m terrified something will happen to her.
(They’ve met in person once for a “business meeting” which makes her feel like she knows him well enough for the trip.)
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you help someone see a dangerous situation when they’re convinced it’s legitimate?