I '32F' just learned that I won a very prestigious grant to complete researsh that is a dream come true.
It is one of my husband's '32M' dreams so he will be attending with me.
I do not want to dox myself but it is the equivalent of being chosen to lead a national geographic expedition about your favorite topic.
Issue is the expedition overlaps with his brother's wedding.
I asked if anything with the "expidition" can be amended dates wise and that is not possible ( failure to fulfill work–> lose grant).
My husband and I had a long conversation about it and both admitted that this opportunity means more to us than the wedding.
We also love BIL very much and are scared it will cause issues.
Any advice? I suggested going alone and husband going to his brother's wedding, but he does not want to miss the experience and what it could be for us.
I know his family are going to barrage us with questions about why he would go with me rather than wedding and assume I am demanding it. I genuinely am not.
Thank you
EDIT: expedition is in another country that is far and in a remote forest area from the airport, so logistically not possible to go back and forth.
It's intensive data collection in the forest for ten days.
EDIT: he is a team member in the grant but I am the PI.
Also, complicated family history where he has done more than his share of sacrifices for his family and has had to learn to put himself first.
Final edit: this is not a judgement sub. We are comfortable with our decision.
It's for advice on how to best handle it.