My (24F) boyfriend (24M) is very jealous. When we started dating, we briefly talked about our past. I told him I had 3 serious relationships and a few flings. He started getting angry and shaking and asked we don't talk about exes. So I never talked with him about any specific about my dating past.

Fast forward now, he started hinting about proposing and was showing me rings. Last night he invited me to go out to the place we went on our first date. When he came to pick me up, my mom told me she saw he had a ring box, so I knew he was going to propose. We went out, had a great time and then we went to the park. He started asking me questions about my past dating life. I told him again, I had 3 serious relationships and a few flings (3 to be exact). He started getting angry telling me I never told him I had gone out with 6 people in total, that he can't trust me anymore.

I first tried to make him remember what happened at the start of our relationship and then I got angry. I told him to return the ring, take the time to think if he truly wants to be with me and what does he really wants.

He hasn't reached out since. I'm not sure. Is it the end of our relationship?


42 comments

  2. Seriously this man is unhinged. Please don’t let him come back from this. It will never get better.

  5. No amount of apologies will make this guy marriage material for you. He showed you he’s a jealous controlling prick and if you marry him you’ll be walking on eggshells about everything in your life. What happens if you have male coworkers, have children and run into other dads at school or events, or male family members want to come visit. He’s clearly insecure and has a lot of growing up to do to realize, he’s not the only man that will ever be in your life, even if he’s the most important one and that marriage is a partnership between equals. Tell him to get fucked and you go enjoy your life.

  10. He gets angry enough to physically shake. That is not a great sign. You are quite young. We date so we can learn about each other before deciding if we want to spend our lives together. You don’t have to spend forever with someone with major anger issues just because he bought a ring.

  12. Hopefully it is. He’s letting you off the hook before you are married to a man who shakes with anger at you (not normal, btw). That level of anger will escalate, I guarantee it.

  13. Your past is your past, fff him and his whiney ass.

    1) He’s got serious jealousy issues about your past.
    2) He’s got control issues
    3) He’s a mental abuser in that he’s attempting to manipulate you with the possibility of proposing.

    Tell him he’s not your type and kick his narcissistic ass out ASAP!

  14. Why would you trust your future and your life to this guy? He doesn’t sound mature enough to handle a real relationship. Did he expect you to be a virgin? How is his dating history? Actually, never mind about his history. Don’t allow him back into your life. You don’t want to become a statistic on a true crime show in 5 years.

  15. Run. He’s showing you who he is. Do not marry this guy. Find someone who can handle his emotions and not hold you having a life before him against you.

  16. The exes thing doesn’t even matter. Your red flag you ignored was when he began shaking with anger. You know what would make me shake with anger? Something absolutely horrific, like a child being abused. No simple conversation should have him shaking with anger, imagine if he got actually upset? Your boyfriend needs therapy and anger management

  17. Bail. Red flags galore. Even if he contacts you again dont respond. Its not worth dating someone who starts shaking in anger over someone’s life before them. Unless it’s about prior trauma you’ve experienced and they are mad someone hurt you. And even then idk. Depends on how it’s placed. But not because you had a life.

  19. He can’t trust you? For what? Having a past, not rambling on about it? No. This spells a lot of trouble for the future. He thinks you are used and eventually, it gives him permission (obviously wrongly) to treat you like sh*t.

  21. Girl, you should have run the first time he freaked out. He is Not. Well.

    You need to stop ignoring red flags waving right in your face.

  22. He was looking for an excuse not to propose, IMO. Let him go – he seems like the type that will throw your past in your face every time he gets angry. Out of curiosity, did you ask him about HIS past? How did that go?

  23. God, I HOPE it’s the end of your relationship! I’m old enough to be your granny, so here’s my take. He’s immature and kind of an 🍑🕳️. You dodged a GIANT bullet.

  24. He gets so angry that he starts shaking when you tell him about your exes which he asked you about. It’s for the best if he doesn’t reach out he’s unhinged. You may think his jealousy is cute now trust and believe you will hate it when you’re 34 and feel like you can’t hangout with friends because he thinks there might be guys around.

  25. OP, “very jealous” is code for controlling. Are you deluding yourself or are you afraid of how he will react?

    Anyone who is more concerned about your exes than your current relationship (or your body count or any variation thereof) is not worth your time.

    Any man that gets upset and starts shaking is a sign of anger and violence is a serious concern.

    Why are you still there? Do you not know how to break up safely?

  26. Run, OP. wtf you ask him the think about what HE wants to do?!? You should have said ”I will think about what to do, because your behavior is unacceptable.”. That’s the only acceptable answer here.

    So, dump him. sir he ain’t over this shit after all this time it won’t change much in the future either. And 6 people are not a big umber in any way.

  31. He’s crazy. Literally crazy. He’s also dangerous. Normal people don’t behave like this AT ALL.

  32. One thing I hate is jealousy, I dont have a jealous bone in my body so I just dont get it and hate it when it rears its ugly head in a relationship. The thing about it is that its unpredictable and impossible to manage. The guy doesnt remember the original conversation and yet cant let go of it.and guess what, he never will.

    Jealousy is impossible to fix, it doesn’t get better, if anything it can get worse. Next thing you know 5 years from now and he will be calling you at work to make sure your there and coming home, you will end up walking around on egg shells and it still wont help.

  33. He started shaking while talking about your exes? Yikes. Yeah this is the end of your relationship if you are smart.

  34. Can’t stress enough how you should never get married this young if you’ve not been together for a long while, know everything about each other, and worked through hard things. Lord help me if I was married now to my bf from when I was 24.

  35. Oh, fuck NO! You do NOT marry this abuser. A man who shakes with anger that you’re not fresh out of the packing box, and have had other partners is a man who will hit you for losing your virginity to someone else.

    There is NOTHING healthy in what you described. Run so fast you leave skid-marks and smoke. Block him on EVERYTHING and count your lucky stars you aren’t pregnant.

  36. Here’s where you should have dumped him: “He started getting angry and shaking and asked we don’t talk about exes. So I never talked with him about any specific about my dating past.”

    Dump him now.

  37. Why would you not want this to be the end of your relationship? Good men don’t behave like this. This guy is deeply immature and insecure and would give you nothing but grief.

  38. Did he expect a virgin? How many people has he been with? It sounds like he has double standards. You were honest at the beginning and him acting unhinged because you’ve had a life before him shows a level of immaturity and anger issues.

  40. The fact your boyfriend got so very jealous over your past relationships BEFORE the two of you were together is a very much cause for concern!

    Enroll in a kickboxing class, release some stress & rejoice you are dodging a Walking Red Flag

  41. >Is it the end of our relationship?

    Yes … and honestly it should have been when he got SO mad that you (checks notes) *existed as a person who had normal relationships before you met him* that he was SHAKING. I mean … WHAT?!?

    THAT is not normal, and then to relitigate it as he plans to propose and then try to say that you are a liar and therefore he can’t trust you? Sounds like he is trying to manipulate you into … something?

    Either way this is NOT a healthy relationship. You do not owe someone a forensic accounting of all past relationships or actions – nor should you need to hide them.

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