How do you deal with being the only male in your home?
I’m in my late 30s and have a fiancé and teenage daughter and it feels like sometimes I’m all alone on an island. It feels like I’m not really understood ever. When situations arise where I get upset or frustrated, it’s met with histrionics. I’m basically told me being angry is scary because essentially I’m a man. I’m not violent, I don’t yell, I don’t throw things. I just get a terse voice and maybe mutter to myself.
Example:
This morning the dog wasn’t let out. I wake up at 7 and notice there’s garbage everywhere, my fiancé left the trash can open. When I go downstairs and try to correct the dog, she pees everywhere submissively (just what dogs do). I then have to clean up the pee, take the dog out, clean the garbage and give the dog a bath. My daughter then comes out crying saying all this about commotion made her upset and she blames me for it. I apologize to her if my anger made her upset, but it’s met with “just don’t be angry” type talk. Problem is this also comes from my fiancé who acts this way, so I know it’s mirrored behavior.
Am I really out of pocket here? I am left feeling like I can’t express my emotions or show anger or frustration without being jumped on because “angry men are scary and violent”. I’ve tried telling them that it’s unfair to associate that with me expressing emotions, and asking me to just stop expressing anger or frustration ever is akin to me asking them to not cry when they are upset.
If you couldn’t tell I’m a bit rattled but could just use insight here from other men who are also going through this. It’s not just about my emotional expression, it’s just a convenient example right now. It’s just many things like this, where I’m basically outnumbered and there’s a lot of emotional reaction to my decisions.