I’m with a really wonderful man — he’s kind, caring, and we connect well in most ways. The one area we’ve struggled is in sex. From early on, we never quite hit our stride. For me, a big part of arousal is feeling my partner’s arousal, and I think he’s similar — which means sometimes we both end up waiting for the other to “get going.”
Over time, this has turned into a pattern: he seems to only be able to finish in very specific scenarios (from behind, or getting head), and recently he’s been struggling to get or stay hard at all. I don’t want to jump straight to labelling it “ED,” but I’m starting to wonder if that might be part of what’s happening. If we try anything face-to-face or different, he usually loses his erection.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of mismatch? How did you approach it in your relationship? What helped you (or your partner) work through it?