it took 6 years but it finally happened….
this can be a 6 years compounded thing. 6 years of trying to find love and 6;years of being used and thrown aside because i was not "good enough.". 6 years of watching the people around me….friends and family….being able to find and marry fheir person. which drives home thr point that i will always be that last choice.
i always believed in love and finding that one person to share my life who gets me. but if anything this pasf 6 years tells me….that i am nothing to really anybody. a disposable play thing to momentarily entertain before someone comes along because when it comes to me….there as always going to be someone better than me.
so yeah….it finally happened….
now i dont believe in love. and why the hell should i keep bothering in any of this? whats the point? because clearly…..many people the past 6 years have taught me…….you dont rsally matter to us. you honestly mean nothing.
i mean who would ever want to be seen.with me? its always been that way. i mean guys found out i liked them….they immediately would have gotten all grossed out and disgusted when we were growing up.
i guess this is rhe most logical conclusion.
they won.
i will always be alone. and that no one can ever like them. i am finally listening.