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Been seeing someone for four months now. We are exclusive, and I really really like her. Our schedules have been crazy the past few weeks, and the earliest I’m going to see her again is Saturday. The last time we spent significant time together was a week and a half ago.
Idk, I’m just feeling a bit insecure despite everything pointing that its going well. I wish I wasn’t like this.
Last week was busy.
Asked a guy if he would like to go on a date with me. Got rejected. It was honestly the first time I asked someone out in my life without knowing their answer, i felt like “the divorcee who is rediscovering the world because she married young”. The guy keeps talking to me and wants to hang out (hiking, museums, it’s why we started talking: finding people to do stuff). And I am super okay with that.
Then I ended the two weeks with no contact with my ex messy situationship, because we were friends and I care about him. I got a mini update over his life and oh boy, he always promised that all was going to be magic and rainbows between us, after he moved to the new apartment. Nope, he is still stressed and tired and down with new stuff now. One of the reasons I broke up with him was that I could feel that all the heaviness we had during our months together was not just due to the moving, and I just got the confirmation, this is just him. He is a person who is stressed and collapses often. And when he collapses he is a shell, he forgets about you. Poor dude, but not the kind of relationship I want in my life. I am lively af. We will slowly go back to being just a friends, but it will take time and it won’t be the same as before, just different.
Honestly I am kinda happy to be single again. Not feeling lonely at all. Kinda excited.
What do you do when part of you wants to date and get *cozy* (wink, wink), but then another, Snorlax part, just wants to nap in your house and not deal with the logistics of another human being in your space?
When is a good timeline for a long-term relationship to really transition to serious?
I feel like in my relationship, after 5.5 months I would describe it somewhere halfway between casual and serious. In terms of hours spent together it’s definitely increased dramatically in the last two months. I’ve met her mother several times as well as her best friend, and she’s met a number of my friends and sister, plus she’s going to meet my parents this weekend. But at this stage we still largely have separate lives, and we don’t see each other outside of weekends usually.
I guess I’m asking, should I stay the current course or is there something missing I should be working on to progress the relationship?
My friends think I was dating a sociopath…
36f and 36m. We met about a month ago. His profile said intentional dating and looking for a monogamous relationship. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
After asking to see me for the third time, I asked him what his intentions with our connection were at this time. I told him that my intentions were to keep getting to know him and have enjoyed this crush phase, but I wasn’t looking for a casual partner and wanted to check in on where he was at.
He revealed to me that he actually has several, like 5 or 6, connections ongoing that he has no intention of committing to. He says they all know about this, so great he’s honest, but I was left feeling very confused as to how he will obtain a monogamous, intentional relationship with anybody if his focus is in so many places at once.
He also said he has a lot of sex. He’s not sure if he’s a sex addict or not (lol where’s the line) but he finds that an easier connection and can dissociate or disconnect emotionally.
All in all, although I often see a bit of a debate of when to have the talk with a new connection, but I find asking in a way of what are your current dating intentions and how do you see this moving forward if we see each other again.
At the end of it I just gave him a big hug and said we’re clearly not on the same page. He said he’d love to still reach out, but I said no I don’t want that.
It’s a bummer to see people out there that seem to crave closeness and intimacy, but lead us to think they’re ready for something real by plugging in those “monogamy” and “long term relationship” prompts on their dating profiles. It doesn’t always mean they are actually set up for that kind of connection to happen.
What do you all think about someone who declares that they like to argue on the second date? Like they just enjoy it. That scares me. Comment came after two discussions where she argued very extreme views that she then claimed she was just fucking with me by doing. Red flag?
I’m not sure I’ve ever been able to *see* how happy it makes someone to be around me before.
The way he smiled and looked so at home—almost relieved—sitting in my bed, waiting for me to pour him a cup of coffee. He missed me. He really did, and I could really tell. He said it with words but he also said it in so many other ways.
I really didn’t think I’d ever experience something like this.
Ugh. Universe please don’t take him away 😭
Can’t really work out my FWB (for lack of a better term?). He used to respond quicker, with more enthusiasm or compliments. Now he doesn’t do either.
I tried to text him in a flirty way the other day (after I thought he was initiating) and he just heart-emoji reacted to the message and responded to my other non-flirty one about snacks.
He messaged me on my first day of holiday to wish me a nice time, we had that small exchange between, and now I’m back he’s messaged again to say he hopes I got home OK, so there’s some care there but it feels very stifled.
I don’t really know what either of us are getting from this. I like being with him, but we haven’t had sex except for the first time we met, and whilst he’s been handsy the other two times it hasn’t progressed. And it’s not that I find him unattractive, but I’m quite neutral towards how he looks. I’ve slept with men I find unattractive, so I know how that feels and this isn’t that. I’d find him more attractive if we had more of a connection but he doesn’t seem to want to build on that.
I’ll see him again if he’s up for it, and maybe should talk about more of what I want, but there’s not been a time in my life when asking more of someone I’m dating/sleeping with hasn’t just pushed them away, and we aren’t dating so I guess it doesn’t really matter what I want and he’s entitled to just walk away.
Do you have a relationship where you regret the way it ended, like it didn’t end the way it *should have*? What’s the story there?
Can someone explain to me if the other person says communication is important as part of finding partner (I agree) but then leaves the “reaching out” to the other person, what gives? Like this person she doesn’t say anything only responds if I text..
My girl asked him to teach her to play football (soccer for the North Americans). Instead of agreeing to someday or doing a backyard thing, he invited her to the game he’s been planning with his friends and he’s going to make her a part of it. I’m always taken by surprise by how he gives his love and time to us. I’m googling good snacks for me to take to them while I cheer them on. I also invited all his friends for Thanksgiving in a few weeks. They’re sweet men that are taking my kid in stride and making her feel special, and I can’t help but love them all for that.
Was going to just come by and say that things are going great with my gf and I couldn’t be happier. Then, I saw the “how to spot a red piller” post and read some of the crazy comments there. Can I just say that I’m happy that I’m no longer in the dating pool because most people are actually batshit crazy lol
I feel like I’m the one initiating plans all the time and it makes me feel like he isn’t super interested in me anymore and its only been like 2 months. When we first started dating, he would ask me what days I was free during the week or if I wanted to go do something this weekend and that hasn’t happened lately. But when I do initiate plans, he never says no so I know he does want to hang out.
He is attentive and thoughtful when we do hang out and we just spent a weekend away together. A few weeks ago, I brought up if we could block out one day during the week where we spend time together and he said he liked where we were at and he doesn’t think that’s necessary??
A bit of rambling ahead that I don’t expect many people to read or reply to, but it helps me to get the words out and don’t want to bug my girlfriends 😅
Very early stages of seeing two guys currently (I’ve mentioned these two here before, it’s the same two). Guy one has been super consistent and is doing everything right in dating. Despite not having crazy chemistry, he checks off a lot of my boxes and makes me feel safe. Every time I see him he grows on me a little more. It’s too early to say if we’ll become anything, but I’m trusting the process of the slow burn on this one.
With guy 2, there WAS immediate chemistry, but I feel like we may have peaked early 🥲 Our first date was amazing, second was good, and the third weirdly felt a little more awkward, but we ended up in bed together anyways 🙃 I’m not into casual sex and normally won’t sleep with someone until establishing exclusivity. But it just kind of happened and I don’t have any regrets. However, the sex was not great. I know it’s out of his or any guy’s control but I was disappointed in his size, and questioning if it was something I could get used to. All my exes were way bigger so I’m just kind of used to certain things. He also came like, immediately. Which I took as a compliment and I assured him of that. That night I texted him that I got home safe, and he texted back, and then I texted him again the next day and he replied then as well. But it’s been over 48 hours and I haven’t heard from him. Of course that’s never fun, but it’s also given me some time to really analyse him, and ultimately I don’t think he’s what I’m looking for right now. And now I’m debating if I should text to let him know that in a nice way and wish him well, or just leave things be. I hate the anxiety of not knowing where things stand, even if it’s somebody that logically I know is probably not my future husband, and I’d like to kind of rip the bandaid off. And if he’s also feeling like maybe we aren’t a match, I feel like it might give him some relief as well. On the other hand, I also feel like it’s just kind of unnecessary and could come off as insecure (like let me leave you before you can leave me). If you’ve made it this far and care to share your thoughts on that, please do.
I got an acceptance letter into my top graduate program! It’s out of state (several hundred miles away) so it will be… fun telling the guy I’m seeing.
I was very transparent that I was only applying to programs out of state, but I’ve found that when people like you they tend to not believe you when you tell them the truth about something they don’t want to hear.
I am kinky and after a year of making connections that started with kink connections, I am done with that approach. I don’t know if it is limited timing, limited understanding of how emotional bonds form, or what but I encountered person after person who wanted to do kink together, but also jump into doing dating activity like going out and kissing in public. And then wanted to do all that under the label of “friends” for months or over a year.
That doesn’t work for me. I don’t let my friends inside me, I don’t regularly engage in the physical and mental intensity of play with friends, and I sure don’t hold hands in the park and smooch my friends.
A few thoughts while Hinging over the weekend:
Why is he so orange?!
Damnnnit! He wants kids
I wonder how badly he wants kids 😝
I wish I was more attracted to my kind (ethnicity)
Is this a fetish???
Is Bumble any better these days? I’m in a metro area of about 2.5mil but we get a ton of tourists
It sucks to be the first one to fall in love. I’m not sure when or if he’ll ever get there. Am I just setting myself up for heartache?
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Just wanted to reply to u/legalizeapartments from yesterday’s thread since it’s closed now. I hear ya on not continuing to go out with people for the sake of it if not super attracted. That’s not what I’m dealing with at all because I am actually very attracted to 3rd date guy but my assumption since he’s on the apps is he’s talking to others (plus a few other things he’s said), and that’s why I’ll at least go out with the new guy because 3rd date guy could vanish any moment. I’m just hoping he doesn’t!
I got a compliment from a woman today!
That’s it. If be that easy sometimes.
it’s like every other day i feel like a hideous ogre and wonder if my ex broke up with me because of my looks, even though he’s never implied that being why. i just feel like he was too kind to say it or something. anyone else feel this way about an ex? i am drowning in insecurity today and it sucks and i hate it.
Girlfriend has been battling a cold throughout the week. I checked in via text today, she’s doing somewhat better. I asked if there was anything I could do to help, she said thanks but no.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a cold, not much to be done besides rest and let it pass through the system. I do wish she would’ve let me done something for her though, at least pick her up some food or something.
So I realised my girlfriend was low effort and I needed to end it. But I gaslit myself into thinking it was all in my head and now we’re heading on a month long trip together next week. Wish me luck.
When do the hot dads get divorced? Kidding not kidding. I’m 37f and have 3 kids. Most single guys 35-45 are either not physically attractive (I’m not asking for Jacob Elordi, but I’m fairly attractive and after some experience know I need someone who takes care of himself), or are attractive but total bros. Out in the real world there are so many dads but they’re still married. I don’t wish divorce upon anyone but statistically….
The man I thought loved me, broke it off. Oof it hurts.
My cat’s autofeeder was acting up last night and I stubbornly kept trying to fix it for a whole hour past my bed time. My bf didn’t try to wave it off and tell me to worry about it the next day- he sat next to me and tried to fix it as well, giving me comforting hugs whenever I got frustrated.
I’m so glad he moved in, I feel my love for him has evolved beyond just the initial excitement and sparks, but being taken care of and feeling supported in my every day, knowing I am finally able to lean on someone makes me so grateful I never gave up on finding love.