I’m a 26M and my girlfriend is 23F. We’ve been together since she was 18 and I was 20, so just over five years. Our relationship has had ups and downs, but overall I love her and the life we’ve built.
Recently we argued, and she told me she was “done.” She’s said that before, but this time felt different. When I asked what the deciding factor was, she eventually told me she wants an open relationship. Specifically, she has a tickling fetish that she says she needs to explore by talking with guys on Discord. The night before, she told me she was going to bed but actually stayed up late on Discord — finding that out broke me.
She said if she can’t have this outlet, she’d have to leave me and go on the journey alone. She insists our sex life is great, but says she “needs this too.” On top of that, she’s been selling feet pics online and has gotten a big boost of confidence from the compliments. She’s also lost 40 pounds on Wegovy, and while I’m proud of her, I feel some resentment because it seems like she’s focused more on attention from others than on us.
Here’s where I’m stuck: I love her and want to stay together, but I don’t want an open relationship. It hurts to know she’s online sharing something intimate with strangers. I agreed to “try” because I love her, but I don’t know if I can actually handle it.
Desired outcome: I want to stay with her and rebuild our relationship so we’re committed to each other without an open relationship.
My question: What should I do to either (1) make it clear to her that I can’t handle an open relationship and keep her with me, or (2) cope with the pain if this is something she won’t give up?
TL;DR: I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (23F) for 5+ years. She says she needs an open relationship to explore her tickling fetish on Discord, even though our sex life is good. I don’t want that. Desired outcome: stay together without opening the relationship. Question: What should I do to get there, or how do I cope if she won’t give this up?