My boyfriend and I have both recently gained a decent amount of weight this year. We met each other while we were healthy and looking our best, now we both realize that we let ourselves get too comfortable and let ourselves go and have been trying to get back in shape since he went back to school in August ( we’re long distance) I was having a pretty bad body image day today, I was looking back at photos and videos of myself from a year ago and feeling really bad about how badly I let myself go, so at night I decided to ask my boyfriend a question, trying to find some reassurance.
I asked if he thought that my body was ugly now that I gained a lot of weight since he first met me. I honestly just wanted to hear him say no, that he thought I was still beautiful and whatnot, but instead he started with that we both let ourselves go and we both aren’t in the best place body wise, and we did look a lot better before( he kept saying we) but that he still finds me gorgeous regardless of my body changes. I don’t know, I keep reading the underline as he no longer finds me attractive and is trying not to hurt my feelings. He couldn’t ever give me a straight answer so now I feel worse.
I would tell him that I feel like not having sex with him anymore because of how ashamed I am of my body and he told me it was okay if we didn’t have sex if that was what would make me comfortable.. I really don’t know if I’m overthinking what he said or if he’s saying all the right things, I just feel worse than I did before I talked to him. I want to know if I’m doing too much right now because I just want to run away since I’m reading it as he no longer finds me attractive but doesn’t want to say it to my face, and I don’t know if I want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because of the way my body changed overtime. All I know is I always tell him how attractive I find him, even with his tummy and rolls and whatnot he’s the sexiest man alive in my eyes, I love those parts of him and I tell him all the time, I don’t understand why he couldn’t give me the same thing.
TL;DR I didn’t like my boyfriends response to my question over his thoughts on my changing body and I’m not sure if I’m overdoing it